*SMART ASS ANSWER #6
*It was mealtime during a flight on American Airlines. "Would you like
dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my
choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

*SMART ASS ANSWER #5* A flight attendant was stationed at the departure
gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for
the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your
stub."

*SMART ASS ANSWER #4
*A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am,
they're dead."

*SMART ASS ANSWER #3
*The cop got out of his car and the kid who was st opped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the
cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.

*SMART ASS ANSWER #2
*A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead". Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of
gas."

*SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006:
*A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, il lness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses
whatsoever!" A smart-ass gu y in the back of the room raised his hand and
asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to
laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles
knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I
guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."