I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can
you afford fries with that?"
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you can call
them and ask if they meant you or them.
Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's
names.
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
The Mafia is laying off judges.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
24 HOURS AOF AIR TRAFFIC AS SEEN FROM SPACE
The yellow dots are airplanes in the sky during a 24 hour period. Stay with the picture. You will see the light of the day moving from the east to the west, as the Earth spins on its axis. Also you will see the aircraft flow of traffic leaving the North American continent and travelling at night to arrive in the UK in the morning. Then you will see the flow changing, leaving the UK in the morning and flying to the American continent in daylight. It is a 24 hour observation of all of the large aircraft flights in the world, condensed down to about 2 minutes. From space we look like a bee hive of activity. You could tell it was summer time in the north by the sun's foot print over the planet. You could see that it didn't quite set in the extreme north and it didn't quite rise in the extreme south. I have never seen this before. We are taught about the earth's tilt and how it causes summer and winter and have had to imagine just what is going on. With this 24 hour observation of aircraft travel on the earth's surface we get to see the daylight pattern move as well. Remember watch the day to night ..... day is over Australia when it starts.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Friday, December 18, 2009
WHO CREATED THIS MESS?
45 PEOPLE
By Charlie Reese
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.
Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.
You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does..
You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason.. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.
The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? Nancy Pelosi. She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.
If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.
If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red ..
If the Army &Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ
If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
There are no insoluble government problems.
Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.
Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.
They, and they alone, have the power.
They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses.
Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.
We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.
What you do with this article now that you have read it.......... Is up to you.
This might be funny if it weren't so darned true.
Be sure to read all the way to the end:
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.
Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule..
Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts
Anyway!
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.
Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries
Tax his tears.
Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.
Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.
Put these words
Upon his tomb,
Taxes drove me
to my doom...'
When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge T ax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Ser vice FeeTax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge=2 0Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What in the hell happened? Can you spell 'politicians?'
And I still have to 'press 1' for
By Charlie Reese
Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.
Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?
Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?
You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.
You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.
You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.
You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does..
You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.
One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.
I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.
I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason.. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.
Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.
The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? Nancy Pelosi. She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.
It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.
If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.
If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red ..
If the Army &Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ
If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.
There are no insoluble government problems.
Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.
Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.
They, and they alone, have the power.
They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses.
Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.
We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!
Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.
What you do with this article now that you have read it.......... Is up to you.
This might be funny if it weren't so darned true.
Be sure to read all the way to the end:
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.
Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule..
Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts
Anyway!
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.
Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries
Tax his tears.
Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.
Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.
Put these words
Upon his tomb,
Taxes drove me
to my doom...'
When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge T ax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Ser vice FeeTax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge=2 0Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What in the hell happened? Can you spell 'politicians?'
And I still have to 'press 1' for
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Senior Health Care Solution:
So you're a senior citizen and the government says no health care for you, what do you do?
Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. Your are allowed to shoot 2 senators and 2 representatives. Of Course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals a day, a roof over your head, and all the health care you need! New teeth, no problem. Need glasses, great. New hip, knees, kidney, lungs, heart? All covered.
And who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you that you are too old for health care. Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes anymore.
Is this a great country or what?
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
THINGS CHANGE
THE YEAR 1909
This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!
The year is 1909.
One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1909 :
************ ********* ********* ******
The average life expectancy was 47 years.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph..
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!
The average wage in 1909 was 22 cents per hour.
The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .
Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which
Were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used
Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from
Entering into their country for any reason.
Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke
The American flag had 45 stars.
The population of Las Vegas , Nevada, was only 30!!!!
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea
Hadn't been invented yet.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health'
( Shocking? DUH! )
Eighteen percent of households had at least
One full-time servant or domestic help.
There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE ! U.S.A. !
I am now going to forward this to someone else(( Yes----YOU..)) without typing it myself. From there, it will be sent to others all over the WORLD - all in a matter of seconds!
Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.
IT STAGGERS THE MIND
This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!
The year is 1909.
One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1909 :
************ ********* ********* ******
The average life expectancy was 47 years.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph..
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!
The average wage in 1909 was 22 cents per hour.
The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .
Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which
Were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '
Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used
Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from
Entering into their country for any reason.
Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke
The American flag had 45 stars.
The population of Las Vegas , Nevada, was only 30!!!!
Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea
Hadn't been invented yet.
There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.
Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.
Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health'
( Shocking? DUH! )
Eighteen percent of households had at least
One full-time servant or domestic help.
There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE ! U.S.A. !
I am now going to forward this to someone else(( Yes----YOU..)) without typing it myself. From there, it will be sent to others all over the WORLD - all in a matter of seconds!
Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.
IT STAGGERS THE MIND
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Strange quotes
Strange Quotes - When Insults Had Class:
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address
on it?" -- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde
Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party,
"Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"
==================================
Today's Featured Humor : -) - Are They Male or Female?
ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
SHOE - male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.
TIRE - male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it ... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
SPONGES - female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
SUBWAY - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HOURGLASS - female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER - male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL - female! Ha! You thought we'd say male. But consider, it gives men pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address
on it?" -- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde
Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party,
"Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!"
Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"
==============================
Today's Featured Humor : -) - Are They Male or Female?
ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
SHOE - male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
COPIER - female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up.
TIRE - male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON - male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it ... and, of course, there's the hot air part.
SPONGES - female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
SUBWAY - male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HOURGLASS - female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMER - male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL - female! Ha! You thought we'd say male. But consider, it gives men pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
why
Why, Why, Why?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
Why does someone
believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
~~~Now send this on to your friends and make them smile too!~~~
****A day without a smile is like a day without sunshine!****
cancer
AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY ('TRY', BEING THE KEY WORD) TO ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHNS HOPKINS I! S FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY .
Cancer Update from Johns Hopkins :
1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.
2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.
3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.
4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.
5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.
6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastrointestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.
7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.
8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.
9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.
10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.
11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.
CANCER CELLS FEED ON:
a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc. are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in color. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.
b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk cancer cells are being starved.
c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.
d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).
!
e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine.. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer fighting properties. Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.
12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.
! 13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.
14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.
15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, unforgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.
16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.
1. No plastic containers in micro.
2. No water bottles in freezer.
3. No plastic wrap in microwave.
Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center as well. Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic.. Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital , was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc. He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons.
Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead.
This is an article that should! be sent to anyone important in your life
Cancer Update from Johns Hopkins :
1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.
2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.
3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.
4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.
5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.
6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastrointestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.
7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.
8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.
9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.
10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.
11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.
CANCER CELLS FEED ON:
a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc. are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in color. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.
b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk cancer cells are being starved.
c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.
d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).
!
e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine.. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer fighting properties. Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.
12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.
! 13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.
14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.
15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, unforgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.
16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.
1. No plastic containers in micro.
2. No water bottles in freezer.
3. No plastic wrap in microwave.
Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center as well. Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic.. Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital , was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc. He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons.
Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead.
This is an article that should! be sent to anyone important in your life
maybe
Maybe. . we were supposed to meet the
wrong people before meeting the right
one so that, when we finally meet the
right person, we will know how to be
grateful for that gift.
Maybe . . . when the door of happiness
closes, another opens; but, often
times, we look so long at the closed
door that we don't even see the new
one which has been opened for us.
Maybe . . . it is true that we don't
know what we have until we lose it,
but it is also true that we don't know
what we have been missing until it
arrives.
Maybe . . . the happiest of people
don't necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.
Maybe .. . . the brightest future will
always be based on a forgotten past;
after all, you can't go on
successfully in life until you let go
of your past mistakes, failures and
heartaches.
Maybe . . . the best kind of friend is
the kind you can sit on a porch and
swing with, never say a word, and then
walk away feeling like it was the best
conversation you've ever had.
Maybe . . you should always try to put
yourself in others' shoes. If you feel
that something could hurt you, it
probably will hurt the other person,
too..
Maybe . . you should do something nice
for someone every single day, even if
it is simply to leave them alone.
Maybe . giving someone all your love
is never an assurance that they will
love you back. Don't expect love in
return; just wait for it to grow in
their heart; but, if it doesn't, be
content that it grew in yours.
Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those
who cry, all those who hurt, all those who
have searched, and all those who have tried,
for only they can appreciate the importance
of all the people who have touched their lves.
Maybe . . . you shouldn't go for
looks; they can deceive; don't go for
wealth; even that fades away. Go for
someone who makes you smile, because
it takes only a smile to make a dark
day seem bright. Find the one that
makes your heart smile.
Maybe . you should hope for enough
happiness to make you sweet, enough
trials to make you strong, enough
sorrow to keep you human, and enough
hope to make you happy.
Maybe . . . you should try to live
your life to the fullest because when
you were born, you were crying and
everyone around you was smiling but
when you die, you can be the one who
is smiling and everyone around you
crying.
wrong people before meeting the right
one so that, when we finally meet the
right person, we will know how to be
grateful for that gift.
Maybe . . . when the door of happiness
closes, another opens; but, often
times, we look so long at the closed
door that we don't even see the new
one which has been opened for us.
Maybe . . . it is true that we don't
know what we have until we lose it,
but it is also true that we don't know
what we have been missing until it
arrives.
Maybe . . . the happiest of people
don't necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.
Maybe .. . . the brightest future will
always be based on a forgotten past;
after all, you can't go on
successfully in life until you let go
of your past mistakes, failures and
heartaches.
Maybe . . . the best kind of friend is
the kind you can sit on a porch and
swing with, never say a word, and then
walk away feeling like it was the best
conversation you've ever had.
Maybe . . you should always try to put
yourself in others' shoes. If you feel
that something could hurt you, it
probably will hurt the other person,
too..
Maybe . . you should do something nice
for someone every single day, even if
it is simply to leave them alone.
Maybe . giving someone all your love
is never an assurance that they will
love you back. Don't expect love in
return; just wait for it to grow in
their heart; but, if it doesn't, be
content that it grew in yours.
Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those
who cry, all those who hurt, all those who
have searched, and all those who have tried,
for only they can appreciate the importance
of all the people who have touched their lves.
Maybe . . . you shouldn't go for
looks; they can deceive; don't go for
wealth; even that fades away. Go for
someone who makes you smile, because
it takes only a smile to make a dark
day seem bright. Find the one that
makes your heart smile.
Maybe . you should hope for enough
happiness to make you sweet, enough
trials to make you strong, enough
sorrow to keep you human, and enough
hope to make you happy.
Maybe . . . you should try to live
your life to the fullest because when
you were born, you were crying and
everyone around you was smiling but
when you die, you can be the one who
is smiling and everyone around you
crying.
Maybe you should have faith in the things you cannot see.
Maybe you should trust your faith. Maybe you should trust that you are loved. Maybe you should trust that you are lovable.
Maybe . . . you could send this message
to those people who mean something to
you, to those who have touched your
life, to those who can and do make you
smile when you really need it, to
those who make you see the brighter
side of things when you are really
down, and to all those whom you want
to know that you appreciate them and
their friendship.
And if you don't, don't worry; nothing
bad will happen to you. You will just
miss out on the opportunity to perhaps
brighten someone's day.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Dear employees,
Dear employees,
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 year s of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligib le for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Management
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 year s of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligib le for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Management
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Strange Quotes: When Insults Had Class
Strange Quotes: When Insults Had Class
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."-- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde
==================================
Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Strange Aptronyms - Names That Match the Occupation
These are real APTRONYMS...
names that match the occupations.
Ray Ferrie is a retired ferryboat captain.
Linda Toot was the principal flute and William Basson was the bassoonist in the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra.
The current Florida Bar directory lists eight lawyers whose surname is "Law." They outnumber the Justices, of whom only four are listed. One Just. One Juster. Two Judges, neither of whom is a judge. One Council, but no Counsel.
Miss Cashdollar was the treasurer of a grade school.
Mr. Sues is a lawyer.
A soldier was spotted at a San Francisco military base with the nametag "Mankiller."
The 2001-2 Membership and Referral Directory of the American Urology Association includes 9 Dr. Peters, 11 Dr. Wang, 4 Dr. Wiener, 4 Dr. Cox, 1 Dr. Dick, 3 Dr. Philpott, 1 Dr. Urich, 1 Dr. John Thomas and 1 Dr. Insoft
Richard Seed is a pioneer of reproductive technology.
Cardinal Jaime Sin is former head of the Catholic Church in the Philippines.
Prof. Martin Braine is an American cognitive psychologist.
Prof. John Wisdom is an American philosopher.
Dr. Mishe Feinmesser (which means knife), is an Israeli surgeon.
Dr. Fingers is a well-know gynecologist in Australia.
Lake Speed is a NASCAR driver.
Dr. Dick Bone is an osteopath.
Patricia Feral is an animal rights activist in Stamford, CT.
A guy name Hooker runs a bait shop.
George Hammer used to own a hardware store in Louisville, KY. His son, Pete Hammer, now owns it.
The expert on deformed frogs (a problem in Minnesota) is Professor Hoppe of Southwest University of Minnesota.
In Maine, there is a veterinarian named Dr. Beever and a physician named Dr. DeKay.
Bruce Payne and David Swett are authors.
There is a law firm in California called Payne & Fears who represent employers in employment litigation.
At the British Guards Depot, the chief medical officer was a Captain Blood, his assistant was Lieutenant Butcher; the Dental Officer was a Major Savage.
Dr. I. Doctor, Eye Doctor, is an ophthalmologist.
There's a used car dealership was owned by Karl Krook.
At the Oscar Mayer plant in Madison, WI, the FED meat inspector is named Mr. Carrion.
Dr. Metzger is an orthopedic surgeon. The name translated from German means "butcher."
Jared Wooley raises sheep and Dr. Bone is an orthopedist in Buffalo, NY. Back in the '70s there were two urologists in Rochester, NY named Dr. Cocky and Dr. Wee.
Dr. David Toothaker is a dentist in Arkansas.
There is also a Dr. Coffin, Dr. Fearing, Dr. Sorrow, Dr. Pray and Dr. Death (pronounced Deeth) who should probably change his name or his profession.
And not to be outdone by Yanks, Bracebridge, Ontario, Canada, boasts of an optometrist named Gord Looker, an electrician named Bruce Sparks, a heating contractor named Mr. Freeze, a sawmill operator named Jordan Plank, and Jim Crook manages the local penitentiary while his assistant is Susan Penwarden.
Dr. Tom Fillar is a dentist.
Sir Russell Brain is a famous English neurologist.
Dr. Hertz was a dentist in Ft. Lauderdale.
Rev. D. Goodenough is a Methodist minister.
Roland Cruz is an auto mechanic.
Dr. Slaughter is an oral surgeon.
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating
"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."-- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde
==============================
Today's Featured Humor : -) - - Strange Aptronyms - Names That Match the Occupation
These are real APTRONYMS...
names that match the occupations.
Ray Ferrie is a retired ferryboat captain.
Linda Toot was the principal flute and William Basson was the bassoonist in the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra.
The current Florida Bar directory lists eight lawyers whose surname is "Law." They outnumber the Justices, of whom only four are listed. One Just. One Juster. Two Judges, neither of whom is a judge. One Council, but no Counsel.
Miss Cashdollar was the treasurer of a grade school.
Mr. Sues is a lawyer.
A soldier was spotted at a San Francisco military base with the nametag "Mankiller."
The 2001-2 Membership and Referral Directory of the American Urology Association includes 9 Dr. Peters, 11 Dr. Wang, 4 Dr. Wiener, 4 Dr. Cox, 1 Dr. Dick, 3 Dr. Philpott, 1 Dr. Urich, 1 Dr. John Thomas and 1 Dr. Insoft
Richard Seed is a pioneer of reproductive technology.
Cardinal Jaime Sin is former head of the Catholic Church in the Philippines.
Prof. Martin Braine is an American cognitive psychologist.
Prof. John Wisdom is an American philosopher.
Dr. Mishe Feinmesser (which means knife), is an Israeli surgeon.
Dr. Fingers is a well-know gynecologist in Australia.
Lake Speed is a NASCAR driver.
Dr. Dick Bone is an osteopath.
Patricia Feral is an animal rights activist in Stamford, CT.
A guy name Hooker runs a bait shop.
George Hammer used to own a hardware store in Louisville, KY. His son, Pete Hammer, now owns it.
The expert on deformed frogs (a problem in Minnesota) is Professor Hoppe of Southwest University of Minnesota.
In Maine, there is a veterinarian named Dr. Beever and a physician named Dr. DeKay.
Bruce Payne and David Swett are authors.
There is a law firm in California called Payne & Fears who represent employers in employment litigation.
At the British Guards Depot, the chief medical officer was a Captain Blood, his assistant was Lieutenant Butcher; the Dental Officer was a Major Savage.
Dr. I. Doctor, Eye Doctor, is an ophthalmologist.
There's a used car dealership was owned by Karl Krook.
At the Oscar Mayer plant in Madison, WI, the FED meat inspector is named Mr. Carrion.
Dr. Metzger is an orthopedic surgeon. The name translated from German means "butcher."
Jared Wooley raises sheep and Dr. Bone is an orthopedist in Buffalo, NY. Back in the '70s there were two urologists in Rochester, NY named Dr. Cocky and Dr. Wee.
Dr. David Toothaker is a dentist in Arkansas.
There is also a Dr. Coffin, Dr. Fearing, Dr. Sorrow, Dr. Pray and Dr. Death (pronounced Deeth) who should probably change his name or his profession.
And not to be outdone by Yanks, Bracebridge, Ontario, Canada, boasts of an optometrist named Gord Looker, an electrician named Bruce Sparks, a heating contractor named Mr. Freeze, a sawmill operator named Jordan Plank, and Jim Crook manages the local penitentiary while his assistant is Susan Penwarden.
Dr. Tom Fillar is a dentist.
Sir Russell Brain is a famous English neurologist.
Dr. Hertz was a dentist in Ft. Lauderdale.
Rev. D. Goodenough is a Methodist minister.
Roland Cruz is an auto mechanic.
Dr. Slaughter is an oral surgeon.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
Subject: Understanding the stimulus bill.
Subject: Understanding the stimulus bill.
Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says, "I don't understand this stimulus bill. Can you explain it to me?"
The professor replied, "I don't have any time to explain it at my office, but if you come over to my house on Saturday and help me with my weekend project, I'll be glad to explain it to you." The student agreed.
At the agreed-upon time, the student showed up at the professor's house. The professor stated that the weekend project involved his backyard pool.
They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the student a bucket. Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor said, "First, go over to the deep end, and fill your bucket with as much water as you can." The student did as he was instructed.
The professor then continued, "Follow me over to the shallow end, and then dump all the water from your bucket into it." The student was naturally confused, but did as he was told.
The professor then explained they were going to do this many more times, and began walking back to the deep end of the pool.
The confused student asked, "Excuse me, but why are we doing this?" The professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to make the shallow end much deeper.
The student didn't think the economics professor was serious, but figured that he would find out the real story soon enough.
However, after the 6th trip between the shallow end and the deep end, the student began to become worried that his economics professor had gone mad. The student finally replied, "All we're doing is wasting valuable time and effort on unproductive pursuits. Even worse, when this process is all over, everything will be at the same level it was before, so all you'll really have accomplished is the appearance of doing something when all we did was the destruction of what could have been truly productive action!"
The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile, "Congratulations. You now understand the stimulus bill."
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
WORLD ECONOMY EXPLAINED IN COW CURRENCY
> World Economy explained in Cow currency
>
>
> SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
>
> COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
>
> FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
>
> NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
>
> BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks
> the other and then throws the milk away.
>
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
> income.
>
> SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
> harmonica lessons.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
> other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to
> analyse why the
> cow has dropped dead.
>
> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to
> your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
> brother-in-law at
> the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer
> so that
> you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk
> rights of the
> six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company
> secretly
> owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows
> back to your
> listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with
> an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
> States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the
> release. The public buys your bull.
>
> FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a
> riot, and block the roads because you want three cows.
>
> JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
> one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
> You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market
> it worldwide.
>
> GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
> for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
>
> ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they
> are. You decide to have lunch.
>
> RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you
> have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
> count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and
> open another bottle of vodka.
>
> SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You
> charge the owners for storing them.
>
> CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking
> them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
> productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
>
> BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad. One used to be
> Prime Minister.
>
> IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them
> that you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of
> you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now
> you are part of a Democracy.
>
> WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
> attractive.
>
> AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.
> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
>
>
>
> SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
>
> COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
>
> FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
>
> NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
>
> BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks
> the other and then throws the milk away.
>
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
> income.
>
> SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
> harmonica lessons.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
> other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to
> analyse why the
> cow has dropped dead.
>
> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to
> your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
> brother-in-law at
> the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer
> so that
> you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk
> rights of the
> six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company
> secretly
> owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows
> back to your
> listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with
> an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
> States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the
> release. The public buys your bull.
>
> FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a
> riot, and block the roads because you want three cows.
>
> JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
> one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
> You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market
> it worldwide.
>
> GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
> for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
>
> ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they
> are. You decide to have lunch.
>
> RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you
> have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
> count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and
> open another bottle of vodka.
>
> SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You
> charge the owners for storing them.
>
> CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking
> them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
> productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
>
> BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad. One used to be
> Prime Minister.
>
> IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them
> that you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of
> you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now
> you are part of a Democracy.
>
> WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
> attractive.
>
> AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.
> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
>
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
GROWING OLD
To my friends who continue to grow old with me. thank goodness ! * SERENITY *
* Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are ! (IF you desire, keep the faith) * * * Always Remember This: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing. * * * |
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
WHAT DO WE SEE?
A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousand of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.
Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.
A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.
A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.
The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.
In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.
Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.
Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?
One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?
Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.
A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.
A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.
The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.
In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.
Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.
Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?
One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:
If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?
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