WORLD ECONOMY EXPLAINED IN COW CURRENCY

> World Economy explained in Cow currency
>
>
> SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
>
> COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
>
> FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
>
> NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
>
> BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks
> the other and then throws the milk away.
>
> TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
> income.
>
> SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
> harmonica lessons.
>
> AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
> other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to
> analyse why the
> cow has dropped dead.
>
> ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to
> your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
> brother-in-law at
> the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer
> so that
> you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk
> rights of the
> six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company
> secretly
> owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows
> back to your
> listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with
> an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
> States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the
> release. The public buys your bull.
>
> FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a
> riot, and block the roads because you want three cows.
>
> JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
> one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
> You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market
> it worldwide.
>
> GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
> for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
>
> ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they
> are. You decide to have lunch.
>
> RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you
> have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
> count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and
> open another bottle of vodka.
>
> SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You
> charge the owners for storing them.
>
> CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking
> them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
> productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
>
> BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad. One used to be
> Prime Minister.
>
> IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them
> that you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of
> you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now
> you are part of a Democracy.
>
> WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
> attractive.
>
> AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good.
> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
>