MENSA

*The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's
winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one
letter altered from a real word. Some are terrifically innovative:*

*1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.*

*2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.*

*3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.*

*4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.*

*5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.*


*6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.*

*7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.*

*8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.*

*9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)*

*10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.*

*11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.*

*12. Glibido: All talk and no action*

*13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.*

*14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after yo
u've a ccidentally walked through a spider web.*

*15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out .*

*16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in t
he fru it you're eating.*

*And, the pick of the lot...*

*17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.*