why did the chicken

Subject: Why did the chicken cross the road?




BARACK OBAMA:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!
The chicken wanted
CHANGE!

JOHN MCCAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the
other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This
experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from DAY ONE --
that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross
the road.
But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is
help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before
adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from
his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life
like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us,
or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER- CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it!It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it!

NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it
in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.
I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain
truth?'That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that
chicken is
gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white
washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'.That chicken
should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story
of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life
long
dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in
peace!

BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
platform is
much more stable and will never _cra_ (mailto:cra...#@&&^(C)
...FUCK!.........reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?

AL GORE:I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens !!!