Monday, May 26, 2008
HISTORY LESSON
Railroad tracks. This is fascinating.
Be sure to read the final paragraph; your understanding of it will depend on the earlier part of the content.
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads.
Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which use d that wheel spacing.
Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England ) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.
Bureaucracies live forever.
So the next time you are handed a Specification/Procedure/Process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with it?' you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses.) Now, the twist to the story:
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRB's. The SRB's are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRB's would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRB's had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRB's had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important? Ancient horse's asses control almost everything... and CURRENT Horses Asses are controlling everything else.
FACTS
Read the whole thing- it gets better and better!
------------------------------**Have you ever wondered where certain sayings, phrases or ideas come from? Read on and enjoy some pretty interesting stuff/trivia that some of us may do or say on a daily basis and not even know why!** In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb" * Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"....and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language. ** -------------------------------------------* *The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. * Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury*
*
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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.* *
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Coca-Cola was originally green** *
*-----------------------------
It is impossible to lick your elbow. *
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:*
*Alaska*
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...) *
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%*
*The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400*
*The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:*
*61,000*
*Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.*
*The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.*
*The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monument that moves.
*Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from
history:*
*Spades - King David*
*Hearts - Charlemagne*
*Clubs -Alexander, the Great*
*Diamonds - Julius Caesar*
*111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321*
*If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs
in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front
leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in
battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person
died of natural causes.*
*Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th,
John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August
2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.*
*Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?*
*A. Their birthplace*
*Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat
name requested?*
*A. Obsession*
*Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go
until you would find the letter "A
*A. One thousand*
*Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and
laser printers all have in common
A. All were invented by women.*
*Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?*
*A. Honey
*Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the
year?*
*A. Father's Day
*In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.*
*When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed
firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight
*It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a
month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his
son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer
and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called
the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.*
*In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old
England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at
them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.
*It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"*
*Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked
into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a
refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your
whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.*
*At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!*
*Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not,
you can read it.*
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was
rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr
the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae
the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as
a wlohe. Amzanig huh?*
*YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 200 8 when...*
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.*
*2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.*
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three*
*4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.*
*5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is
that they don't have e-mail addresses.*
*6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see
if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.*
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of
the screen*
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even
have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause
for panic and you turn around to go and get it.*
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee.*
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )*
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward
this message.*
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.*
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on
this list.*
~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~*
*NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.*
Friday, May 16, 2008
men and women
Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning
she told her husband that she had slept over at a
friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he
told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's
house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends,
eight of which confirmed that he had slept over, and
two said that he was still there...
WHY
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool LANE?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
If Wile I. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your Ass ?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?