HERBAL TEA PARTY

OIL SPILLS

(Automatic License Plate Recognition)

EARTH MEANDERS

EARTH MEANDERS 2.0
United States of Ecocide: Spilling and Consuming Way to Oblivion
A great, free nation remains immobilized in the face of ecological collapse

May 29, 2009
By Dr. Glen Barry, Ecological Internet
Earth Meanders come from Earth's Newsdesk, http://www.ecoearth.info/newsdesk/
http://www.ecoearth.info/earthmeanders/

The United States of America is an epic experiment, as despite great accomplishments and numerous imperfections, we share a long history of constantly striving to improve our union. As Americans settle in for Memorial Day to remember veterans of all stripes – from great wars of world defense to more recent military adventurism – it is appropriate to consider what the current Gulf Oil Spill says about the American way of life. Plainly, our addiction to oil and consumption in general threatens to destroy regional and global ecosystems – the water, air, land and oceans –upon which Americans, humanity and all species depend upon for habitat and life.

America is truly exceptional. Yet it is not because of our materially excessive lifestyles, as best demonstrated by our wide girths and ample posteriors. There is more to America than consumption. Our greatness is primarily due to our wavering, imperfect yet unique commitment to freedom and liberty. Over two hundred years ago a just revolution was fought asserting individual liberties from monarchial authoritarianism. The principles of freedom and liberty were a gift to the world. This is what truly has set us apart. And despite two decades of consistent roll-backs in civil and human rights, Americans remain for now free peoples to prosper or expire.

America has and continues to face many challenges – repudiating slavery, enfranchising most, world wars – and most recently the inevitable slowdown of economic growth as speculative, industrial capitalism runs its course. America has enjoyed for awhile super-sized living and grown to be what it is based upon liquidating ecosystems. We have progressed to the point where regional ecosystems are collapsing – most obviously in the Gulf Coast, but throughout the vast country as ecosystems are dying. America now faces our most difficult and profound test ever, coming to terms with our deeply ecologically unsustainable lifestyles, and committing to national and global ecological sustainability.

Clearly the American way of life has been built upon liquidating our own and foreign natural life-giving ecosystems to access resources for consumption. To equate mowing ancient forests, dumping waste into water, over-fishing oceans, polluting the atmosphere, and the pervasive toxic chemical cocktail with progress and development is absurd. It is entirely possible that oil deep undersea and within our shared Earth was not meant to be drilled, much less burnt. America must directly face our profound dependence upon oil and destruction of natural ecosystems as the basis of our economy; or our country will collapse, many if not all will needlessly suffer and prematurely die, and a livable Earth may cease to exist.

The oil spilling endlessly into the Gulf of Mexico – one of America’s most rich ecosystems –shows clearly Americans of all types will commit to ecological sustainability or our free country will cease to exist. Marshes and rivers and forests and fish are far more than resources – they and all natural ecosystems provide for humanity’s habitat and existence upon Earth. The American way of life must be updated by what Ecology – the radical science – teaches us about limits to growth and requirements to sustain the biosphere. And to reflect moral outrage that as we continue to literally stuff ourselves and over-develop to death, two billion people live worldwide on under $2/day, 800 million without access to clean water. Collapsing ecosystems will almost certainly be used as the pretext for some sort of more authoritarian political system.

The American dream and way of life is built upon ecocide – willful murder of the environment. Such ecocidal behavior is problematic not only because we are literally eating Earth to death, but also because Americans use so much more than their fair share of the surplus natural capital, relative to the family of nations, than can be done sustainably. It is deeply troubling – bordering on evil – that 4% of the world’s population consumes 25% of its oil. And now sadly the rest of the world is copying America’s conspicuous over-consumption as a way of life. In an over-populated Earth plagued by inequitable consumption, clearly there has to be more meaning to life than having more stuff, including first meeting all humanity’s basic needs.

The resources necessary for all the gadgets, cars, energy and consumption found in the American dream are largely being taken at the point of gun by the U.S. military, and through neo-colonial dependency arrangements between U.S. business and resource owners. 911 was direct blowback from several decades of such behavior. It is time to stop thinking in terms of tribal nationalism and embrace the human family; as ecological challenges including forest loss, water scarcity, ocean decline, air pollution, soil depletion, nitrogen saturation and biodiversity loss threaten to destroy all nations’ peoples. How many more U.S. soldiers must kill and die needlessly in foreign lands to support these inequities and unsustainability?

Let us buttress America’s commitment to true freedom and liberty with equal devotion to equity, justice and global ecological sustainability. Future American and global ecological sustainability looks less urban, more organic; simple but quality lives; less government, more community, and dedication to protecting and restoring ecosystems. It is possible and crucial for all our shared survival to live simply, laugh often, and love deeply as we lead deeply fulfilling lives within the context of a healthy and vibrant environment, and a steady state economy which can last forever.

It is well past time to show American resolve and commitment and get the damn oil leak capped. This is an unprecedented ecological emergency that portends the future. There should be millions of Americans streaming to partake in skimming oil and cleaning what comes ashore. This is our task, our job, our life, our future, our country, our Earth and our ecology at stake. Further, I would like to take this opportunity to call for criminal investigations of BP and the U.S. government’s oil departments, for the immediate resignation of Ken Salazar as Secretary of Interior, and for a permanent global ban to ecocidal offshore oil drilling.

Ecological Internet recently declared a planetary ecological emergency[1] based upon overwhelming new ecological science indicating Earth is at or near the tipping point, and key global ecosystems and life-support systems are failing. All true Americans and global citizens are urged to dramatically reduce their personal consumption and to commit to massively reducing their personal use of oil. And the U.S. government must cease to be an oil oligarchy, divorce itself from this Earth destroying industry, and stop waging war to feed its oil addiction. Failure on either account may justly lead to the next great American Revolution: a people’s power Earth Revolution on behalf of Earth, all her life, and the human family.

WHY WOMEN SHOULD NOT DRINK

WARNING

1. A plastic bottle with a cap.
2. A little Drano.
3. A little water.
4. A small piece of foil.
5. Disturb it by moving it; and BOOM!!
6. No fingers left and other serious effects to your face, eyes, etc..

People are finding these bombs in mailboxes and in their yards, just waiting for you to pick it up intending to put it in the trash. But, you'll never make it!!! It takes about 30 seconds to blow after you move the thing.

See "SNOPES" below.. This happened. April 27, 2010,


http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/bottlebomb.asp warnings/bottlebomb.asp>

THE IMPORTANCE OF WALKING

The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.

TRUCK CRASH COMP

SNAKE

THE CAMPER

THIS IS WHAT JEFF FOXWORTHY HAS TO SAY ABOUT 'LIVING IN OREGON!

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Oregon .

If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Oregon .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Oregon .

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Oregon ..

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Oregon .

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Oregon .

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked, you live in Oregon

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Central, Southern or Eastern Oregon .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in Oregon .

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Oregon .

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Oregon .

If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Oregon ..

If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Oregon .

If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners, you live in Oregon .

If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal, you live in Oregon

If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain, you live in Oregon .

If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Dutch Bros, you live in Oregon.

If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon, you live in Oregon .

If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup , Abiqua, Issaquah, Oregon , Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette, you live in Oregon .

If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Oregon.

If you know that Boring is a city and not just a feeling, you live in Oregon .

If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food, you live in Oregon .

If you never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho, you live in Oregon .

If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Oregon

If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you live in Oregon .

If you buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such
a long time, you live in Oregon .

If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your OREGON friends, you
live or have lived in Oregon .

FRED REED

Meddling Where We Oughtn't

Yet Again

March 2, 2010

.

Mexico, if left alone, would be a reasonably successful and stable country of the upper Third World. It isn’t Haiti, isn’t Bangla Desh, isn’t a dying patient with multiple tubes in every orifice. If not strong-armed into chaos, it would be all right.

But the United States won’t leave it alone. Washington is pushing it to wage Washington’s “war on drugs.” As usual, Washington has no idea what it is doing. Nor does it care. Should untoward consequences follow, it will be surprised, this being the characteristic condition of American foreign policy.

Untoward consequences are quite available. The narcotraficantes that Mexico is supposed to fight for Washington are a formidable armed force. They have unlimited money, which they use to buy heavy weapons. They have unlimited money, which they use to corrupt the government of a comparatively poor country. Mexico does not have the wherewithal to fight them. The army here is small and poorly armed. This is reasonable since Mexico has neither territorial ambitions nor enemies. Except, certainly in effect, the United States.

The government is outgunned by the narcos. Further, the traffickers have the advantage of being dispersed and invisible. The situation is, or quickly could be, exactly that faced by the US in Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan: narcos can appear from nowhere, blow up police stations, assassinate judges, or kill a dozen teenagers at a party. Then they disappear.

Thus they can destabilize the nation and hold the population hostage. This doesn’t bother Americans, who barely know where Mexico is. It bothers Mexicans, who know their people are dying in an exported American war.

Bear in mind that anti-Americanism thrives here and throughout Latin America. Much of it is justified; some of it isn’t. The US population, the most comprehensively ignorant of the advanced world, knows nothing of the reasons or of the countries. But the hostility is real. Shrugging it off could prove a mistake.

If Mexicans had to choose between the drug lords, who are often seen as counter-culture heroes, and the US, seen as an enemy too dangerous to be openly called an enemy, many would go with their compatriots in the drug trade. A repertoire of narco-corridos, songs glorifying the narcos, exists. Los Tigres del Norte in Sinaloa have specialized in these.

Although Mexico doesn’t have America’s festering antagonisms--blacks hate whites hate browns hate men hate women hate Jews— there are groups, particularly in Chiapas, who are potential insurgents. If they should ally themselves with the narcos and go to the mountains, or set up cells in the cities, the result would be a long, bloody civil war: Afghanistan on the US border. This is not Freddian fantasy. Thoughtful Mexicans worry about it.

The Mexican army cannot handle an uprising of any magnitude. The Pentagon would then intervene to “help” Mexico. Que dios nos ayude.

he Pentagon is working toward toward intervention, whether it know that it is or not. There is something called the Merida Initiative, in which the US supplies money and advice to transform Mexican society to combat the narcos. The colonels in the Five-Sided Squirrel Cage really believe they can reform the Mexican judiciary and infuse the police with virtuous fervor for American ideals. I spoke to a field-grade American officer about this. He had taken a six-month intensive course in Spanish at the Defense Language Institute and spoke less Spanish than my daughter did after two weeks here. The money would be used to reform the Mexican government, he said, which would then make short work of the narcos. He explained this with the earnest mission-orientedness that officers display when they are about to do something senseless.

I didn’t say, “Give me a freaking break,” because I knew it would accomplish nothing. You don’t “reform” countries you don’t understand by solemn brainless enthusiasm. The money would vanish like water in dry sand. Mexico does not want to be remade in the image of the United States, for remarkably good reasons. The more the US meddles, the less legitimate the government that permits it will be. Not a good idea.

Why does the military regularly misestimate the nature of the Third World? Because soldiers live, and think, in a rigid, conformist, orderly world in which good (us) and evil (them) are starkly distinct, in which one gives orders and things happen, in which all are on the team and working toward a common goal. Officers are insular, self-righteous, ruthless (after all, they are fighting Evil) and clueless. The workings of the Third World are the polar opposite of orderliness of the military. The colonels are instantly lost in the complex relationships, informal arrangements, family loyalties and invisible politics of Latin America. And they do not understand that when they intervene, they are not the good guys.

This is why we hear again and again from some buzz-cut horse’s ass with stars on his shoulders about how we are trying so hard to “help the Afghan people.”

One might ask: Why are drugs Mexico’s problem? Americans, huge numbers of them, want drugs. If they didn’t want drugs, the narcos couldn’t sell the stuff. But the American government doesn’t want its citizens to have drugs. Fine. Let the government attack its own citizens. Leave others out of it.

Washington isn’t going to rid the US of drugs any more than it rid the country of alcohol. Popular demand is far too great. The US crawls with crank labs, open-air crack markets, meth cookers, fields of marijuhweenie too large not to have been noticed by state authorities. California talks of legalizing grass in defiance of the Feds. All God’s chillun loves drugs—good ol’ boys, Ivy League students, their professors, high-school kids, middle-class suburbanies, congressman, musicians, and several Republicans. Mexico is going to change this? They must be smoking something good in DC.

A friend recently told me of being in a boat off Florida with several honeys in bikinis aboard. A Coast Guard cutter pulled alongside because the guys wanted to look at the babes. My buddy, being sociable, hollered, “What are you guys doing?”

“We’re looking for drugs.”

“Oh. We’ll follow you.”

Whereupon the Coast Guardies broke out laughing. Even the cops don’t really care.

Mexico can’t fix things, if indeed they are broken. Leave the place alone.

MICHAEL MOORE WRITES OBAMA

President Obama: Replace Rahm with Me ...an open letter from Michael Moore

Friday, March 5th, 2010

Dear President Obama,

I understand you may be looking to replace Rahm Emanuel as your chief of staff.

I would like to humbly offer myself, yours truly, as his replacement.

I will come to D.C. and clean up the mess that's been created around you. I will work for $1 a year. I will help the Dems on Capitol Hill find their spines and I will teach them how to nonviolently beat the Republicans to a pulp.

And I will help you get done what the American people sent you there to do. I don't need much, just a cot in the White House basement will do.

Now, don't get too giddy with excitement over my offer, because you and I are going to be up at 5 in the morning, 7 days a week and I am going to get you pumped up for battle every single day (see photo). Each morning you and I will do 100 jumping jacks and you will repeat after me:

"THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ELECTED ME, NOT THE REPUBLICANS, TO RUN THE COUNTRY! I AM IN CHARGE! I WILL ORDER ALL OBSTRUCTIONISTS OUTTA MY WAY! IF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DON'T LIKE WHAT I'M DOING THEY CAN THROW MY ASS OUT IN 2012. IN THE MEANTIME, I CALL THE SHOTS ON THEIR BEHALF! NOW, CONGRESS, DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!"

Then we will put on our jogging sweats and run up to Capitol Hill. We will take names, kick butts, and then take some more names. If we have to give a few noogies or half-nelson's, then so be it. In our pockets we will have a piece of paper to show the pansy Dems just how much they won by in 2008 -- and the poll results that show the majority of Americans oppose the Afghanistan and Iraq wars and want the bankers punished. Like drill sergeants, we will get right up in their faces and ask them, "WHAT PART OF THE PUBLIC MANDATE DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, SOLDIER?!! DROP AND GIVE ME 50!"

I know this is the job Rahm Emanuel was supposed to be doing.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have always admired Rahm Emanuel (if you don't count his getting NAFTA pushed through Congress in the '90s which destroyed towns like Flint, Michigan. I know, picky-picky.). He is what we needed for a long time -- a no-apologies, take-no-prisoners fighting machine. Someone who is not afraid to get his hands dirty and pound the right wing into submission. Far from being the foul-mouthed bully he has been portrayed as, Rahm is the one who BEAT UP the bullies to protect us from them.

That's certainly what he did in 2006. After six long, miserable years of the middle-class getting slaughtered and the poor being flushed down the toilet, Rahm Emanuel took on the job of returning Congress to the Democrats. No one believed it could be done.

But he did it. Big time. He put the fear of God into the party of Rush and Newt. They had never been so scared. More importantly, though, he instilled a sense of hope in the Democrats that they could actually score the mother of all hat tricks in 2008 -- and with you, an African American no less, in the pole position!

It worked. The Darkness ended. The vast majority of nation wept with joy on the night of the election (those who weren't weeping went out and bought a record number of guns and ammo). Unlike the last president, you didn't "win" by 537 votes in Florida (although Gore won the popular vote by a half-million), you beat McCain nationally by 9,522,083 votes! The House Democrats got a walloping 79-vote margin. The Senate Dems would caucus with a supermajority of 60 votes unheard of in over 30 years. The wars would now end. America would have universal health care. Wall Street and the banks would, at the very least, be reined in. Hardworking citizens would not be thrown out of their homes. It was supposed to be the dawning of a new age.

But the Republicans were not going to go quietly into the night. You see, instead of having just one Rahm Emanuel, they are ALL Rahm Emanuels. That's why they usually win. Unlike most Democrats, they are relentless and unstoppable. When they believe in something (which is usually themselves and the K Street job they hope to be rewarded with someday), they'll fight for it till the death. They are loyal to a fault to each other (they were never able to denounce Bush, even though they knew he was destroying the party). They dig their heels in deep no matter what. If you exiled them to a lone chunk of melting polar ice cap, they would keep insisting that it was just a normal "January thaw," even as the frigid Arctic waters rose above their God-fearing necks ("See what I mean -- this water is COLD! What 'global *warming*'?! Adam and Eve rode dinos...aagghh!!... gulp gulp gulp").

We thought we were all done with this craziness, but we were mistaken. Like a beast that you just can't cage, the Republicans convinced not only the media, but YOU and your fellow Dems, that 59 votes was a *minority*! Precious time was lost trying to reach a "consensus" and trying to be "bipartisan."

Well, you and the Democrats have been in charge now for over a year and not one banking regulation has been reinstated. We don't have universal health care. The war in Afghanistan has escalated. And tens of thousands of Americans continue to lose their jobs and be thrown out of their homes. For most of us, it's just simply no longer good enough that Bush is gone. Woo hoo. Bush is gone. Yippee. That hasn't created one new friggin' job.

You're such a good guy, Mr. President. You came to Washington with your hand extended to the Republicans and they just chopped it off. You wanted to be respectful and they decided that they were going to say "no" to everything you suggested. Yet, you kept on saying you still believed in bipartisanship.

Well, if you really want bipartisanship, just go ahead and let the Republicans win in November. Then you'll get all the bipartisanship you want.

Let me be clear about one thing: The Democrats on Election Day 2010 are going to get an ass-whoopin' of biblical proportions if things don't change right now. And after the new Republican majority takes over, they, along with a few conservative Democrats in Congress, will get to bipartisanly impeach you for being a socialist and a citizen of Kenya. How nice to see both sides of the aisle working together again!

And the brief window we had to fix this country will be gone.

Gone.

Gone, baby, gone.

I don't know what your team has been up to, but they haven't served you well. And Rahm, poor Rahm, has turned into a fighter -- not of Republicans, but of the left. He called those of us who want universal health care "f***ing retarded." Look, I don't know if Rahm is the problem or if it's Gibbs or Axelrod or any of the other great people we owe a debt of thanks to for getting you elected. All I know is that whatever is fueling your White House it's now running on fumes. Time to shake things up! Time to bring me in to get you pumped up every morning! Go Barack! Yay Obama! Fight, Team, Fight!

I'm packed and ready to come to D.C. tomorrow. If it helps, you won't really be losing Rahm entirely because I'll be bringing his brother with me -- my agent, Ari Emanuel. Man, you should see HIM negotiate a deal! Have you ever wanted to see Mitch McConnell walking around Capitol Hill carrying his own head in his hands after it's just been handed to him by the infamous Ari? Oh, baby, it won't be pretty -- but boy will it be sweet!

What say you, Barack? Me and you against the world! Yes we can! It'll be fun -- and we may just get something done. Whaddaya got to lose? Hope?

Retardedly yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
MichaelMoore.com

P.S. Just to give you an idea of the new style I'll be bringing with me, when a cornhole like Sen. Ben Nelson tries to hold you up next time, this is what I will tell him in order to get his vote: "You've got exactly 30 seconds to rescind your demand or I will personally make sure that Nebraska doesn't get one more federal dollar for the rest of Obama's term. And then I will let everyone in your state know that you wear Sooner panties, backwards. NOW DROP AND GIVE ME 50!"

GET OUT OF MY CAR

SOME FACTS ABOUT SOCIAL SECURITY

Your Social Security




Just in case some of you young whippersnappers (& some older ones)
didn't know this. It's easy to check out, if you don't believe it.

Be sure and show it to your kids. They need a little history lesson on
what's what and it doesn't matter whether you are Democrat or
Republican. Facts are Facts!!!



Our Social Security

Franklin Roosevelt, a Democrat, introduced the Social Security (FICA)
Program. He promised:

1.) That participation in the Program would be Completely voluntary,


No longer Voluntary


2.) That the participants would only have to pay 1% of the first $1,400
of their annual Incomes into the Program,



Now 7.65%



3.) That the money the participants elected to put into the Program
would be deductible from their income for tax purposes each year,



No longer tax deductible



4.) That the money the participants put into the independent 'Trust
Fund' rather than into the general operating fund, and therefore, would
only be used to fund the Social Security Retirement Program, and no
other Government program, and,



Under Johnson the money was moved to



The General Fund and Spent



5.) That the annuity payments to the retirees would never be taxed as
income.



Under Clinton & Gore



Up to 85% of your Social Security can be Taxed



Since many of us have paid into FICA for years and are now receiving a
Social Security check every month -- and then finding that we are
getting taxed on 85% of the money we paid to the Federal government to
'put away' -- you may be interested in the following:

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Q: Which Political Party took Social Security from the independent
'Trust Fund' and put it into the general fund so that Congress could
spend it?

A: It was Lyndon Johnson and the democratically controlled House and
Senate.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--

Q: Which Political Party eliminated the income tax deduction for Social
Security (FICA) withholding?

A: The Democratic Party.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
-----

Q: Which Political Party started taxing Social Security annuities?

A: The Democratic Party, wit h Al Gore casting the 'tie-breaking'
deciding vote as President of the Senate, while he was Vice President of
the US

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
-

Q: Which Political Party decided to start giving annuity payments to
immigrants?

AND MY FAVORITE:

A: That's right!



Jimmy Carter and the Democratic Party.
immigrants moved into this country, and at age 65, began to receive
Social Security payments! The Democratic Party gave these payments to
them, even though they never paid a dime into it!

------------ -- ------------ --------- ----- ------------ ---------
---------

Then, after violating the original contract (FICA), the Democrats turn
around and tell you that the Republicans want to take your Social
Security away!

And the worst part about it is uninformed citizens believe it!



If enough people receive this, maybe a seed of awareness will be planted
and maybe changes will evolve. Maybe not, some Democrats are awfully
sure of what isn't so.

But it's worth a try. How many people can YOU send this to?

Actions speak louder than bumper stickers.



AND CONGRESS GIVES THEMSELVES 100% RETIREMENT FOR ONLY SERVING ONE
TERM!!!

STOP THIS NOW!



A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong
enough to take everything you have.
-Thomas Jefferson

ON SAFARI INSIDE A ZEBRA

GETTING OFF THE ELEVATOR

TOYOTA LAWNMOWERS RECALLED

AIRPORT SCREENING

GOOD DRUNKEN DRIVING MOVIE

CATERPILLAR SKIING

IDEAS

CLEVER IDEAS WORTH KNOWING
Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store.
If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.



Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil.
It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!


Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating.
Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.


Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef.
It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.
To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of
spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.
For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.
Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste
of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.
Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert Simply chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm!
Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm.
This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.


Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up.
Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg.
Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.


Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size.
You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.
Reheating refrigerated bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in
a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food
moist and help it reheat faster.


Newspaper weeds away
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers,
put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and for-
get about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not
get through wet newspapers.


Broken Glass
Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.
No More Mosquitoes

Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.


Squirrel Away! To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.

Flexible vacuum

To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.

Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and ... ta da! ... static is gone.


Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water.
Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such
as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.


Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
Re opening envelopes
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.


Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.


Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!


Get Rid of Ants

Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it 'home,' can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS
The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load clothes.) He told us that he wanted to show us something; he took the filter over to the sink and ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material ... I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like. Well ... the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that's what burns out the heating unit. You can't SEE the film, but it's there. It's what is in the drye r sheets to make your clothes soft and static free ... that nice fragrance too. You know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box ... well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very longtime (and to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out and wash it with hot soapy water and an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that!?! Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that. So, I thought I'd share!

Note: I went to my dryer and tested my screen by running water on it. The water ran through a little bit but mostly collected all the water in the mesh screen. I washed it with warm soapy water and a nylon brush and I had it done in 30 seconds. Then when I rinsed it .. the water ran right thru the screen! There wasn't any puddling at all! That repairman knew what he was talking about!

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK.

CAROL

SNOPES REPORT

Hello again from snopes, where we shed light on the wild tales you've heard! This e-mail gives information about new articles recently added to the snopes.com

web site and provides pointers to older pieces about rumors and hoaxes still wandering into everyone's inboxes.

Our last update mailing was 26 December 2009.

If after this update you are left wondering about something newly arrived in your inbox, our search engine

stands ready to assist you. Bookmark that URL — it's a keeper!

And now to the legends, the mayhem, and the misinformation!

---

New Articles

• Does Facebook plan to begin charging
  users $4.99 a month in June 2010?
• E-mailed account purportedly tells the real story of Tiger Woods'
  auto accident.
• Ubiquitous press prankster
  returns for the holiday season to bedevil newspaper editors.
• Letter chides
  California senator Barbara Boxer for asking a general to address her as "Senator."
• Clever thief finds an inventive way to steal
  right under a guard's nose.
• Is men's underwear
  referred to as 'BVDs' because the term is an abbreviation of the phrase 'Boy's Ventilated Drawers'?
• Texted exhortation claims the phone company will donate
  $2 for a baby girl's heart transplant every time the message is forwarded.
• Don't forget to visit our Daily Snopes
  page for a collection of odd news stories from around the world!

Worth a Second Look

• New Year's: Some common beliefs and superstitions about bringing in the New Year
  .

Still Haunting the Inbox

• Some rumors about snopes.com
  were debunked
  at FactCheck.org.
• Account describes a purported "dry run" by Muslim terrorists
  on an AirTran flight.
• Postcard / Greeting Card virus
  .
• E-mailed computer virus
  masquerades as parcel company's delivery failure notification.
• Letter purportedly written by nonagenarian Navy veteran
  criticizes President Obama.
• Let's Say Thanks: Xerox-sponsored web site allows the public to send free postcards
  to U.S. troops.
• Warning about cash back charges
  being surreptitiously placed on WalMart customers' credit cards.
• Message promises consumers can receive free laptop
  computers from Ericsson for forwarding an e-mail to their friends.
• E-mail advises contacting police
  by calling #77 (or *677) on a cell phone.
• E-warning cautions that cell phone
  numbers are being sold to telemarketers.
• A Thanksgiving advertising circular issued by Best Buy
  wishes readers a "Happy Eid al-Adha."
• Claim that "The Twelve Days of Christmas" was created as a coded
  reference to important articles of the Christian faith.
• Message from Vietnam vet claims Target
  stores do not support veterans.
• Claim that a federal judge has ordered Barack Obama to prove
  his eligibility for the presidency in court.
• Claim that Rep. Nancy Pelosi regularly travels
  to California on a 200-seat jet.
• Warning about 'Osama Captured/Hanged' computer virus
  .
• Actor/writer Ben Stein's
  commentary on the observance of Christmas.
• Warning that robbers are flinging eggs
  at cars to impair drivers' vision and force them to stop.
• Photographs purportedly show a coyote
  that survived an eight-hour trip wedged behind a car bumper.
• U.S. postage stamp commemorates Islamic
  holidays.
• Warning about criminals' using burundanga-soaked business cards to incapacitate
  their victims.
• Mail Server Report
  virus.
• Warnings about scammers' luring phone users into returning calls to numbers within the 809
  area code.
• List details changes
  made to the Social Security program over the years.
• Prayer request for Cindy Hogman, a wife and mother battling
  cervical cancer.
• Warning about thieves
  armed with "code grabbers" breaking into cars by recording signals sent from remote keyless entry devices.

Fraud Afoot

• Seems like everyone has become the recipient of mysterious e-mails promising untold wealth if only one helps a wealthy foreigner quietly move millions of dollars out of his country. The venerable 419 Scam
  has discovered the goldmine that is the Internet. Beware: There's still no such thing as "something for nothing," and the contents of your bank account will end up with these wily foreigners if you fall in with this.
• Likewise, look out for mailings announcing you've won a foreign lottery
  you don't recall entering or claiming that because you share the surname of a wealthy person who died without leaving a will you're in line for a windfall inheritance
  .
• And be especially wary if, while trying to sell or rent anything online (car, boat, horse, motorcycle, painting, apartment, you name it) you're approached by a prospective buyer/renter who wants to pay with a cashier check made out for an amount in excess
  of the agreed-upon price and who asks the balance be sent to a third party.
• Aspiring work-at-homers
  promised big bucks for acting as intermediaries for international transactions wherein they cash checks for other parties or reship goods to them have been defrauded by con artists. Don't you be next.

Admin Stuff

• View the latest edition
  of the snopes.com
  newsletter online.
• Please note that the e-mail address update@snopes.com is an administrative address used only for mailing weekly updates to subscribers. All mail sent to this address is automatically deleted.
• If you wish to change your subscription information or unsubscribe, please use the links provided at the bottom of every newsletter mailing.
• If you wish to find information on a particular topic, please use the search engine
  .
• Our What's New
  page and our 25 Hottest Urban Legends
  page are also handy places to check whenever you receive something questionable in your inbox.
• Other inquiries and comments may be submitted through the "Contact Us" form at snopes.com
  .

FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY LANGUAGE

a. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. b. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before c. Practice safe eating - always use condiments. d. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. e. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris must be in Seine f. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy. g. A hangover is the wrath of grapes. h. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? i. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. j. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red. k. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. l. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired. m. Definition of a will: A dead give away. n. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. o. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off. p. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. q. If you don't pay your exorcist, you'll be repossessed. r. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. s. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds. t. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. u. Local Area Network in Australia : the LAN down under. v. Every calendar's days are numbered. w. A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine. x. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. y. A midget fortuneteller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large. z. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. AND: aa. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. ab. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis. ac. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. ad. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2010 "PG"]

Number 10

Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die

Number 8

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.

If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet, and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6

Some people are like a Slinky.

Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4

All of us could take a lesson from the weather.

It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3

Why does a 'slight' tax increase cost you $200.00, and a 'substantial' tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.

Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number ONE Thought For 2010 :

"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno Peppers:

What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow!

DON'T RUN RED LIGHTS

School bus in India

THE NEXT TWO PICS ARE SCHOOL BUSES IN JAPAN


and yet, when you have a technical problem with your computer - your call ends up in India ?/b>