Sunday, July 6, 2008

FACTS


1 Look at your zipper. See the initials YKK? It stands for Yoshida Kogyo
Kabushibibaisha, the world's largest zipper manufacturer.
2
40 percent of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
3
315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.
4
On the average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
5
Chocolate kills dogs! True, chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous
system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.
6
Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.
7
Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the
same time.
8
Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made
of wood.
9
There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.
10
Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint
Mona Lisa's lips.
11
Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow a film down so you
could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.
12
The original name for the butterfly was "flutterby"!
13
By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in
quicksand.
14
Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the
mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
15
Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least six feet away from a
toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
16
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
17
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike
factory workers in Malaysia combined.
18
Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.
19
Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked
out of it by her doctor.
20
The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and
Budweiser, in that order.
21
To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, prick your fingers into its
eyeballs. It will let you go instantly.
22
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
23
The "pound" (#) key on your keyboard is called an octothorp.
24
The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.
25
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
26
The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
27
Dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".
28
It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
29
In Chinese, the KFC slogan "finger lickin' good" comes out as "eat your
fingers off".
30
A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head.
31
We shed 40 pounds of skin a lifetime.
32
Yo-Yos were once used as weapons in the Philippines.
33
Mexico City sinks abut 10 inches a year.
34
Brains are more active sleeping than watching TV.
35
Blue is the favorite color of 80 percent of Americans.
36
When a person shakes their head from side to side, he is saying "yes" in Sri
Lanka.
37
There are more chickens than people in the world.
38
The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows the fastest.
39
There are more telephones than people in Washington, D.C.
40
The average four year-old child asks over four hundred questions a day.
41
The average person presses the snooze button on their alarm clock three
Times each morning.
42
The three wealthiest families in the world have more assets than the
Combined wealth of the forty-eight poorest nations.
43
The first owner of the Marlboro cigarette Company died of lung cancer.
44
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
45
The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
46
Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our noses and ears
Never stop growing.
47
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.
48
A person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation.
Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes a Few
weeks.
49
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
50
The Mona Lisa has no eyebrows.
51
When the moon is directly overhead, you weigh slightly less.
52
Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned His
wife or mother because they were both deaf.
53
A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a Carpenter in
order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After Weeks of
needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an axe Leaving her
mentally retarded
54
"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language
55
Colgate faced a big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking
Countries because Colgate translates into the command "go hang Yourself."
56
Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
57
"Bookkeeper" is the only word in English language with three consecutive
Double letters.
58
Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed
People do.
59
The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every Letter
in the English language.
60
If the population of China walked past you in single line, the line Would
never end because of the rate of reproduction
61
China has more English speakers than the United States.
62
Every human spent about half an hour as a single cell.
63
Each square inch of human skin consists of twenty feet of blood vessels.
64
An average person uses the bathroom 6 times per day.
65
Babies are born with 300 bones, but by adulthood we have only 206 in our
Bodies.
66
Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body. If the average Man
never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his
Lifetime.
67
According to Genesis 1:20-22, the chicken came before the egg.
68
The longest place name still in use is:
Taumatawhakatangihangaoauauotameteaturi-
Pukakpikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu - a New Zealand hill.
69
If you leave Tokyo by plane at 7:00am, you will arrive in Honolulu at
Approximately 4:30pm the previous day.
70
Scientists in Australia's Parkes Observatory thought they had positive Proof
of alien life, when they began picking up radio-waves from space. However,
after investigation, the radio emissions were traced to a Microwave in the
building.
71
Wearing headphones for an hour increases the bacteria in your ear 700 times.

72
More than 40,000 parasites and 250 types of bacteria are exchanged during a
French kiss.
73
Men can read smaller print than women, but women can hear better.
74
Coca-Cola was originally green.
75
The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
76
The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start
with.
77
There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
78
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on
one row of the keyboard.
79
Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!
80
You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
81
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
82
People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart
stops for a millisecond.
83
It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
84
The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest
tongue twister in the English language.
85
If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a
sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
86
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.
Spades - King David, Clubs - Alexander the Great, Hearts - Charlemagne,
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
87
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
88
If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the
air, the person died in battle.
89
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of
wounds received in battle.
90
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.
91
Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this? Ans. -
Honey
92
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
93
A snail can sleep for three years.
94
All polar bears are left handed.
95
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each
salad served in first-class.
96
Butterflies taste with their feet.
97
Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
98
In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
99
On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
100
Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
101
Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
102
The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
103
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
104
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
squirt blood 30 feet.
105
Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million
descendants.
106
The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
107
Most lipstick contains fish scales.
108
And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

DON'T TICK OFF A MATHEMETICIAN

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Treadmillkitten

3 LITTLE GIRLS SING ANTHEM

GOOD BLOND STORY

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. This week, I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and I had yet to pay for it. Boy, oh boy, did we go around! Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year: that in one year the windows would pay for themselves. There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up and I have not heard back. Guess I won that stupid argument!

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Murphy's Lesser Known Laws

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some
people appear bright
until you hear them speak.

2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who
don't.

4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of
getting something
right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it
wrong.

6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end,
someone would be
stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time,
on a hill, in
the fog.

7. The things that come to those who wait will be the
scraggly junk left
by those who got there first.

8. The shin bone is a device for finding furni ture in a
dark room.

9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for
doing well.

10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into
the hands of 12
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury
duty.

POLISH CLOCK

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CAVER ONE


CarverOne
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GEORGE CARLIN

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FUNNY STORY

Friday, July 4, 2008

BEST COMEBACK




















General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.

You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended.



Sunday, June 29, 2008

Sunday, June 22, 2008

25 WAYS














WOOPS

COWASAKI

HOW NOT TO SWALLOW A BUG

How Not to Swallow a Bug - Video

CAR CHASE


CarChase
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HEART ATTACK!



This is a very good article. Not only about the warm water after your meal, but about cid:X.MA3.1204255220@aol.com Heart Attacks The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals, not cold water, maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit while eating.
For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It is nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal. However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

Common Symptoms Of Heart Attack...
A serious note about heart attacks - You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the
left arm hurting Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line .
You may never have the first
chest pain during the course of a heart attack. Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive.


THIS GIRL KNOWS HOW TO CATCH


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WE NEED THIS ON MY STREET


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CALL THE GEEK SQUAD...PRINTER WONT WORK


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WHY ITS BETTER TO BE THE BOSS

Sunday, June 15, 2008

traffic engineering

demolition-las vegas style

frozen wife


Frozenwife
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the older crowd

THE OLDER CROWD
A distraught senior citizen
phoned her doctor's office.

"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication
you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?"


"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence
before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering then,
just how serious my condition is,
because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'."



***********************

An older gentleman was
on the operating table
awaiting surgery....
he had insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon,
perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia,
he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it? "

"Don't be nervous, son;
do your best
and just remember,
if it doesn't go well,
and something happens to me,
your mother
is going to come and
live with you and your wife...."



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Aging:

Eventually you will reach a point
when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it.


---------------------------------


The older we get,
the fewer things
seem worth waiting in line for.
*************************************
Some people
try to turn back their odometers.
Not me!
I want people to know "why"
I look this way.
I've traveled a long way
and some of the roads weren't paved.


********************

When you are dissatisfied
and would like to return to your youth,
remember Algebra.


~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

You know you are getting old when
everything either dries up or leaks.


-------------------------------
One of the many things
no one tells you about aging is
that it is such a nice change
from being young.


<><><><><><><><><>

Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.


<><><><><><&g t;<><><>

First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when
you forget to pull it down!


---------------------------------

Long ago
when men cursed
and beat the ground with sticks,
it was called witchcraft...


Today, it's called golf.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two old guys
are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart
when they collide.


The first old guy says to the second guy,
"Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,
and I guess I wasn't paying attention
to where I was going."

The second old guy says,
"That's OK, it's a coincidence.
I'm looking for my wife, too.
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."


The first old guy says, "Well,
maybe I can help you find her.
What does she look like?"


" The second old guy says,
"Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall,
with red hair,
blue eyes,
long legs,
and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?"

To which the first old guy says, "Doesn't matter,
--- let's look for yours."


*********************

Lord,
Keep Your arm around my shoulder,
and,
Your hand over my mouth!!

THIS IS INDIA, WHERE YOU CALL WITH TECHNICAL PROBLEMS

watch out for bambi

1908

THE YEAR 1908

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!
The year is 1908.
One hundred years ago.
What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1908 :
************************************
The average life expectancy was 47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower

The average wage in 1908 was 22 cents per hour.

The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year .

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,
A dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME

Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which
Were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used
Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason

Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of Las Vegas , Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea
Hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind,regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.' ( Shocking? DUH! )

Eighteen percent of households had at least
One full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE ! U.S.A !

Now I forwarded this from someone else without typing
It myself, and sent it to you and others all over Canada & U.S.A
Possibly the world, in a matter of seconds!

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.
IT STAGGERS THE MIND!!!!!!!!!!!

FOR SALE

UNBELIEVABLE


This is unbelievable.....if anyone can figure out how they do this, let me know!!!

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CARS OF THE PAST

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SW CRASH

Saturday, June 14, 2008

HOLY SMOKES




















Here is why sissies use fishing poles

What's a hungry catfish to do for chow--now? Huadu is a district with a large city of the same name in China .

Its just a catfish, he won't bite!
For all those crazy guys who go 'noodling' for catfish and stick their arms down the fish's throat!! This would really be 'all the catfish you can eat.'

Each year, a few people will be drowned mysteriously in Huadu's Furong Reservoir. It was not until recently when the son of a certain official went swimming in the reservoir with his friend and were drowned that the secret was unravelled!

It's a 3 metre long man-eating catfish whose head alone is 1 metre wide! After cutting up the catfish people were surprised to find the remains of a man inside!

Because this was a huge incident, and the local government was afraid of the impact on local tourism, they imposed an embargo on the news, but people came away with these pictur es taken on their cell phones of the man-eating fish!

Swimming in the reservoir is now forbidden because it is feared another similar man-eating catfish is still lurking in the waters