HOLY SMOKES

Here is why sissies use fishing poles

What's a hungry catfish to do for chow--now? Huadu is a district with a large city of the same name in China .

Its just a catfish, he won't bite!
For all those crazy guys who go 'noodling' for catfish and stick their arms down the fish's throat!! This would really be 'all the catfish you can eat.'

Each year, a few people will be drowned mysteriously in Huadu's Furong Reservoir. It was not until recently when the son of a certain official went swimming in the reservoir with his friend and were drowned that the secret was unravelled!

It's a 3 metre long man-eating catfish whose head alone is 1 metre wide! After cutting up the catfish people were surprised to find the remains of a man inside!

Because this was a huge incident, and the local government was afraid of the impact on local tourism, they imposed an embargo on the news, but people came away with these pictur es taken on their cell phones of the man-eating fish!

Swimming in the reservoir is now forbidden because it is feared another similar man-eating catfish is still lurking in the waters

GAS STATION CHEATS

> We saw on the news the other night that this is happening
everywhere.
>
> Brian pumped exactly one gallon of gas. The price did not match
> the cost of one gallon, it was higher. He went inside and
> complained, got a refund..
> There is also a number on each pump that you can call and com plain.
>
> T his is a true story, so read it carefully.
> On April 24, 2008, I stopped at a BP gas station in GA. My truck's
> gas gauge
> was on 1/4 of a tank. I use the mid-grade, which was priced at
> $3.71 per gallon. When my tank is at this point, it takes somewhere
> around 14 gallons to fill it up.
>
> When the pump showed 14 gallons had been pumped I began to slow it
> down, then to my surprise it went to 15, then 16. I even looked
> under
> my truck to see if it was being spilled. It was not. Then it
> showed 17
> gallons on the pump. It stopped at 18 gallons. This was very
> strange to me,
> since my truck has only an 18 gallon tank. I went on my way a
little
> confused, then on the evening news I heard a report that 1 out of
> 4 gas
> stations had calibrated their pumps to show more gas had been
> pumped than a person actually go t.
>
> Here i s how to check a pump to see if you are getting the right
> amount:
>
> Whichever grade you are using, put EXACTLY 10 GALLONS in your tank,
> then look at the dollar amount. If the dollar amount is not
> EXACTLY 10
> times the price of the fuel you have chosen, then the pumps are
> rigged. In my case as I said the mid-grade was $3.71 9/10 per
> gallon; my dollar amount for 10 gallons should have been $37.19. I
> wish I had checked the pump. It doesn't
> matter where you pump gas, please check the 10 gallon price.
>
> If you do find a station that is cheating, contact the state
> Agriculture Department, and direct your comments to the
> Commissioner--info is on the gas
> pumps.

DRINK DON'T DRIVE

3 HILLBILLIES

Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.

1st Hillbilly says: 'My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. '

2nd Hillbilly says: 'Why is that stupid?'

1st Hillbilly says: 'We ain't got no 'lectricity!'

2nd Hillbilly says: 'That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin ' machines!'

1st Hillbilly says: 'Why is that so stupid?'

2nd Hillbilly says: ''Cause we ain't got no plummin'!'

3rd Hillbilly says: 'That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer
wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer
some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar.'

1st and 2nd Hillbillies say: 'Well, what's so dumb about that?'

3rd Hillbilly says: 'She ain't got no pecker.

TRYING TO DESTROY OBAMA THROUGH INUENDO

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS

Due To the climate of political correctness now pervading America ,

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."

You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And Furthermore...

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - she is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a

"PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

5. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes " VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a " LOW COST PROVIDER."

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a

"LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not " GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of

RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

6. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."

WHICH WAY ARE YOU GOING

LOSING A FRIEND

DEMO LAS VEGAS STYLE

DemolicionenLasvegas
Uploaded by vids4us

PICTURES OF THE EARTH-pps

http://www.box.net/shared/static/odkl70buog.pps

INTERESTING FACTS

WORTH WATCHING

http://play.rbn.com/?url=demnow/demnow/demand/2008/may/video/dnB2

SPREAD THE STUPIDITY

Spread the Stupidity

Only in America .......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front..

Only in America .......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America .......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters..

Only in America .......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America .......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America .... ...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.




EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apart-ments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

PROSTATE EXAM

VIDEO EGG

http://static.videoegg.com/ted/flash/fullscreen.html?v=/ted/movies/ARTHURBENJAMIN-2005&cid=ted/mo

HELL EXPLAINED!

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University ofWashington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. < /P>

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

B IRTHDAY CALCULATER

Birthday Calculator

PUPPET SHOW

why did the chicken

Subject: Why did the chicken cross the road?




BARACK OBAMA:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE!
The chicken wanted
CHANGE!

JOHN MCCAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the
other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This
experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from DAY ONE --
that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross
the road.
But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is
help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before
adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from
his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life
like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the
chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us,
or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER- CNN:We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we
have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it!It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's
intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it!

NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it
in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.
I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,
the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL:Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain
truth?'That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that
chicken is
gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white
washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'.That chicken
should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story
of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life
long
dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in
peace!

BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
platform is
much more stable and will never _cra_ (mailto:cra...#@&&^(C)
...FUCK!.........reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?

AL GORE:I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens !!!

GAS PRICES

BODY FACTS

Interesting Human Body Facts

A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

The attachment of human muscles to skin is what causes dimples.

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

If the average male never shaved his beard would be 13 feet long when he
died.

Men with hairless chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than
men with hair.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Side by side 2000 cells from the human body could cover about one square
inch.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

When you are looking at someone you love your pupils dilate. . . .they do
the same when you are looking at someone you hate!

Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you aren't.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

The average woman is five inches shorter than the average man.

. . . . . Still looking at your thumb?

POP THE BUBBLEWRAP

http://www.therightfoot.net/mystuff/whatever/swf/bubblewrap.swf

GHOST AT GAS STATION

LETTERMANS 10 TOP REASONS WHY BLACKS CANT RACE

DAVID LETTERMAN IN TROUBLE WITH NASCAR


Now, this is funny. I'll bet Dave Letterman does get some
'flak' from the NAACP. Al Sharpton and the Rev Jackson will go nuts !!!

David Letterman's Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers:

# 10 - Have to sit upright while driving.

# 9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.

# 8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.

# 7 - Pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants at the same time.

# 6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.

# 5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.

# 4 - No passenger seat for the Ho.

# 3 - No Cadillacs approved for competition.

# 2 - When they crash their cars, they bail out & run.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN
NASCAR..............

#1 -They can't wear their helmets sideways.

LOVE BOAT

LoveBoat - American Style
Uploaded by 123for_me

HOW THE GOVT FUNCTIONS

UncleJay
Uploaded by vids4us

stupid pranks

VRS-posedis
Uploaded by vids4us

BORED KANGAROO

KANGAROO
Uploaded by vids4us

IF I WERE A TERRORIST

IfIwasaterroist
Uploaded by vids4us

BEER OPENING TECHNIQUES

BeerOpeningTechniques
Uploaded by vids4us

HILLARY FOR PRESIDENT

Y_Political_Ad_Royal_Canadian_Air_Farce_Politics_Gover-1
Uploaded by vids4us

NEVER TRUST A GREEN LIGHT

NeverTrustAGreenLight-3
Uploaded by vids4us

IRAQ SPEED BUMP

Iraq_speed_bump
Uploaded by vids4us

HISTORY LESSON

---

Railroad tracks. This is fascinating.

Be sure to read the final paragraph; your understanding of it will depend on the earlier part of the content.

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.

Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads.

Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which use d that wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England ) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.

Bureaucracies live forever.

So the next time you are handed a Specification/Procedure/Process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with it?' you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses.) Now, the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRB's. The SRB's are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRB's would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRB's had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRB's had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important? Ancient horse's asses control almost everything... and CURRENT Horses Asses are controlling everything else.

FACTS

FUN STUFF!




Read the whole thing- it gets better and better!

------------------------------**Have you ever wondered where certain sayings, phrases or ideas come from? Read on and enjoy some pretty interesting stuff/trivia that some of us may do or say on a daily basis and not even know why!** In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb" * Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"....and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language. ** -------------------------------------------* *The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. * Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S . Treasury*

*
-------------------------------------------* *
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.* *
------------------------------------------- **
Coca-Cola was originally green** *

*-------------------------------------------* *
It is impossible to lick your elbow. *

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:*

*Alaska*


The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...) *

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%*

*The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400*

*The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:*

*61,000*


*Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.*

*The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.*

*The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monument that moves.


*Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from
history:*

*Spades - King David*

*Hearts - Charlemagne*

*Clubs -Alexander, the Great*

*Diamonds - Julius Caesar*

*111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321*

*If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs
in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front
leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in
battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person
died of natural causes.*

*Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th,
John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August
2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.*

*Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?*

*A. Their birthplace*

*Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat
name requested?*

*A. Obsession*

*Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go
until you would find the letter "A
*A. One thousand*

*Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and
laser printers all have in common

A. All were invented by women.*


*Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?*
*A. Honey

*Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the
year?*

*A. Father's Day
*In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.*

*When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed
firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight

*It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a
month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his
son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer
and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called
the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.*


*In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old
England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at
them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.

*It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"*

*Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked
into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a
refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your
whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.*


*At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!*


*Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not,
you can read it.*

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was
rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr
the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the
frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae
the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as
a wlohe. Amzanig huh?*

*YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 200 8 when...*
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.*
*2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.*
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three*
*4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.*
*5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is
that they don't have e-mail addresses.*

*6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see
if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.*

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of
the screen*

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even
have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause
for panic and you turn around to go and get it.*

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee.*
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )*

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward
this message.*

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.*

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on
this list.*

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~*
*NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.*

Banned Commercial - Nike - Basketball Freestyle Commercial(
Uploaded by cilvana1981

She said, she said
Uploaded by defactory

Funny - Pickup Truck OffRoad 4X4
Uploaded by cilvana1981

space

space

If you were around in 1919 (just before prohibition started) and came upon the following poster...

I mean seriously. Would you quit drinking

CHINESE FAST FOOD, pdf download

http://www.box.net/shared/static/5n7lqu8owc.pdf

men and women

Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning
she told her husband that she had slept over at a
friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he
told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's
house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends,
eight of which confirmed that he had slept over, and
two said that he was still there...

WHY

Can you cry under water?

---

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

---

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

---

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

---

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

---

What disease did cured ham actually have?

---

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

---

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

---

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

---

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

---

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

---

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?

They're going to see you naked anyway.

---

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

---

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

---

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

---

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool LANE?

---

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

---

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

---

If Wile I. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

---

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

---

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

---

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

---

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

---

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your Ass ?

---

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

---

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?

MILITARY PHOTOS OF 9/11

http://www.box.net/shared/static/fwiv49xhc4.pps

Envie pressante !
Uploaded by jeanbamin

present
Uploaded by joohp

Sunshine
Uploaded by 123for_me

private Airline
Uploaded by joohp

Oiseaux Gags
Uploaded by gotti57

Frebreeze
Uploaded by keefy98

Ca coule de source !
Uploaded by angesitael

The ultimate funny video
Uploaded by jokesfunhumor

The Problem With Government Employees
Uploaded by 1fun2

Amazing Funny Animals
Uploaded by Channel_Zero

Theydon'tmakethemlikethisanymore
Uploaded by vids4us

How_to_Get_Rid_of_a_One-Night_StandJP
Uploaded by vids4us

Boogie
Uploaded by vids4us

sleeping cat on the bench
Uploaded by tsunechichi

Bad day at work
Uploaded by joohp