mystuff

GREATEST CARD TRICK EVER

2012-01-22T16:39:00.001-08:00

CLICK HERE!

WORKING ON THE RAILROAD

2012-01-22T16:36:00.000-08:00

CLICK HERE!

Click here: Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

2012-01-16T23:10:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=6oHBG3ABUJU&vq=medium

The fruitcake lady

2012-01-01T17:52:00.001-08:00

I have no secrets

2012-01-01T17:47:00.000-08:00

YOSEMITE'S FRAZIL ICE

2012-01-01T17:42:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=9V9p4mFEYXc&vq=medium#t

When trees were H-U-G-E!

2012-01-01T17:23:00.000-08:00

When the Northwest logging industry was still young...

Just look at the length of the hand saw they needed...

...and look at the size of the heavy duty axes...

The work required very strong and courageous men...

After a tree was felled the real work began - a week or more to cut it up...

Maneuvering the logs down the mountain to the train was a complex job...

Some of the logs were larger than the train engine...

A hollowed out log became the company's mobile office...

Hollowed out logs were also used to house and feed the crews.

Remember when?

2012-01-01T16:58:00.000-08:00

I'm Popeye the Sailor Man

The best day of fishing-EVER

2011-12-18T20:10:00.000-08:00

I've heard of salmon jumping into boats, but never anything quite like this... Tom Satre told the Sitka Gazette that he was out with a charter group on his 62-foot fishing vessel when four juvenile black-tailed deer swam directly toward his boat

"Once the deer reached the boat, the four began to circle the boat, looking directly at us. We could tell right away that the young bucks were distressed. I opened up my back gate and we helped the typically skittish and absolutely wild animals onto the boat. In all my years fishing, I've never seen anything quite like it! Once onboard, they collapsed with exhaustion, shivering.

"This is a picture I took of the rescued bucks on the back of my boat, the Alaska Quest. We headed for Taku Harbour . Once we reached the dock, the first buck that we had been pulled from the water hopped onto the dock, looked back as if to say 'thank you' and disappeared into the forest. After a bit of prodding and assistance, two more followed, but the smallest deer needed a little more help

This is me carrying the little guy.

My daughter, Anna, and son, Tim, helped the last buck to its feet. We didn't know how long they had been in the icy waters or if there had been others who did not survive. My daughter later told me that the experience was something that she would never forget, and I suspect the deer felt the same way as well!"

Underwater bowling

2011-12-18T19:52:00.000-08:00

CLICK HERE

Blond joke

2011-12-11T22:07:00.001-08:00

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas .

With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee."

WHERE DO THE CARDS COME FROM?

2011-12-11T15:45:00.001-08:00

WHERE DO THE CARDS COME FROM?

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=tHjaRbTfHmQ

Jazz session

2011-12-11T15:42:00.001-08:00

This is a great performance. Please take note that no one in the audience left during the entire jazz session!!!

"http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/lXKDu6cdXLI?rel=0"

ONLY BUDDY HACKETT COULD GETAWAY WITH TELLING THIS JOKE!

2011-12-11T15:38:00.001-08:00

http://redux.com/stream/item/1126763/BABY-ELEPHANT-TRUNK-PENIS-BY-BUDDY-HACK

A Reminder That Laughter is the Best Medicine

2011-11-27T17:12:00.001-08:00

http://www.caregiverstress.com/2010/07/a-reminder-that-laughter-is-the-best-medicine/

How to get a woman to burn more calories

2011-11-27T17:08:00.001-08:00

http://vimeo.com/29416289

A Vision of the Future? | ChrisKenton.com

2011-11-24T15:38:00.000-08:00

A Vision of the Future? | ChrisKenton.com

Whatever You Do, Don't Buy an Airline Ticket On …

2011-11-11T15:42:00.001-08:00

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704062604576105953506930800.html

Beer commercial

2011-11-11T15:41:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=K-Rs6YEZAt8

Great photos from the past

2011-11-11T15:10:00.001-08:00

http://blogs.denverpost.com/captured/2010/07/26/captured-america-in-color-from-1939-1943/2363/

Brain games

2011-11-10T16:13:00.001-08:00

http://www.freebrainagegames.com/

Automobile Quiz...

2011-11-06T20:49:00.000-08:00

http://www.cramersweeney.com/brandprix/

Fly over Europe-pps

2011-11-06T20:32:00.001-08:00

http://www.box.net/shared/static/4loal2cdl94hlfb7x2iv.pps

Referee training

2011-11-06T20:31:00.001-08:00

WTF

2011-11-06T19:36:00.001-08:00

In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, the correct answer is Africa .


There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets


Just put a deposit down on a brand new Porsche & mentioned it on FaceBook.
I said "I can't wait for the new 911 to arrive !" Next thing I know 4000 Fanatical Muslims have added me as a friend !!
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk ...
"I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard.”

The red cross have just knocked at our door and ask if we could help towards the floods in Pakistan , I said we would love to, but our hose only reaches to the bottom of the garden.

VW bus turns 60 - Will's Roadtransport Revival

2011-11-06T19:35:00.001-08:00

http://www.roadtransport.com/blogs/truck-and-van-blog/2007/10/vw-bus-turns-60-wills-roadtran.html

How to blow a turkey call

2011-11-06T19:33:00.001-08:00

Stand still and don't shoot-great hunting video

2011-11-06T19:05:00.001-08:00

GREAT AD RUN ON HALOWEEN

2011-11-06T18:32:00.001-08:00

http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=22984504&server=vimeo.com&show_title=0&show_byline=0&show_portrait=0&color=00adef&fullscreen=1&autoplay=1&loop=0

THIS PUTS IT INTO FIGURES WE CAN BETTER UNDERSTAND.....YIKES

2011-11-06T18:28:00.000-08:00

I love it when complex things are made simple. *
United States Tax revenue: $2,170,000,000,000
* Fed budget: $3,820,000,000,000*
New debt: $ 1,650,000,000,000*
National debt: $14,271,000,000,000
Recent budget cut: $ 38,500,000,000
Now, remove 8 zeros and pretend it's a household budget.
* Annual family income: $21,700*
Money the family spent: $38,200
* New debt on the credit card: $16,500
* Outstanding balance on credit card: $142,710 Total budget cuts: $385

Find the man in the coffee beans

2011-10-30T17:27:00.000-07:00

THE TRICK IS TO FIND THE MAN IN THE COFFEE BEANS:
This is bizarre - after you find the guy - it's so obvious. Once you find him - it's embarrassing, and you think, "Why didn't I see him immediately?" Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, the right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, the right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein. If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger! And yes, the man is really there!

HOW'S YOUR DAY GOING?

2011-10-30T17:21:00.000-07:00

Better than these people probably:

Real letter to the editor

2011-10-30T16:48:00.001-07:00

Check out Herschel, the Magnificent Jew

2011-10-30T16:45:00.001-07:00

http://holycannoli.posterous.com/herschel-the-magnificent-jew

Ever heard of "Glued Meat"?

2011-10-23T15:17:00.001-07:00

http://d.yimg.com/nl/australia/site/player.swf?vid=24472661&repeat=0&browseCarouselUI=hide

Cool Halloween Card

2011-10-23T14:52:00.001-07:00

Click Here!

A satisfied woman!

2011-10-23T14:49:00.001-07:00

FIND ANYBODY

2011-10-09T18:08:00.001-07:00

http://www.spokeo.com/

THE HUMAN CLOCK

2011-10-09T18:02:00.001-07:00

http://lovedbdb.com/nudemenClock/index2.html

Yosemite's Frazil Ice

2011-10-09T17:54:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=9V9p4mFEYXc&vq=medium#t

GINGER RODGERS AT 92 AND GRANDSON

2011-10-09T17:51:00.001-07:00

GREAT CLIPS FROM THE PAST

2011-10-09T17:22:00.001-07:00

You must be very Careful with this. You can get lost for hours watching these.  Various clips from old TV shows that show acts, comedy, songs, dances, etc from our era.  Do yourself a favor and at least look at some of these.
Just click on the underlined headings and it will come up automatically.

Enjoy the Nostalgia trip.....

1 JACKIE GLEASON ON THE ROCKY MARCIANO SHOW THE MAIN EVENT (1960)
Jackie recalls his early days as a night club comic in Newark , NJ (and the brawl); also, Jackie receives a humanitarian award from Rocky and salutes sidekick Art Carney ( Du Mont ) Bloopers from The Honeymooners on TV ch 11 also ch. 30; Marciano v. Wolcott fight on ch. 64

2 JAMES DEAN: HIS FINAL TV APPEARANCE (1954)
Rebellious trait obvious, James Dean talks about car racing and safety on Gig Young's show; Walks off set a mention of speeding; eerily, Dean was killed days later in a tragic car collision. ( Du Mont )

3 ELVIS SINGS BLUE SUEDE SHOES (1956)
The King lives here! Elvis Presley debuts on "The Tommy & Jimmy Dorsey Show." (CBS) In the house: Elvis sings many more of his hits on our Classic Oldies Video Juke Box below!

4 A TRIBUTE TO ELVIS PRESLEY, THE KING OF ROCK & ROLL (1959-62)
Clips of The King from his early days to induction into the Army, see The King's mom, dad & Col. Tom Hear Elvis' first #1 1957 hit for RCA, Heartbreak Hotel. (clips from Movietone & AP News)

5 THE EDSEL INTRODUCED ON NBC(1957)
Ford paid the network big dollars (in those days) to run this filmed The Edsel Show promotion. Ford canned the car shortly after; it is today a revered automotive classic. (NBC) More 50s cars ch.63v

6 BOBBY DARIN'S "MACK THE KNIFE" (1959)
Bobby opened his first of hour variety shows performing his biggest number one hit. (and his label, Atco, didn't want him to record it!) (CBS) *There's more Bobby below: hosting a beauty contest & on the OldiesTeleVision Video Juke Box.

7 WESTINGHOUSE DEBUTS HI-TECH "ADVANCED TV" (1951)
Show the kids hi-tech video blossoming before anyone heard of cable, satellite or HDTV. They may chuckle, The "one knob-no antenna-black matrix pix tube" had viewers in awe..but it was a technical disaster. (TVC)

8 WILLIAM BENDIX AS LOVABLE CHESTER A. RILEY (1956)
The Life Of Riley with Marjorie Reynolds, Tom D'andrea, Lugene Sanders, Wesley Morgan Once played by Groucho Marx & Jackie Gleason, Bendix's Riley was the definitive blue collar family guy. Watch Riley, delirious over having his tonsils removed, drive family, Gillis, & hospital nurse (Honeybee) crazy!(CBS)

9 ICONS I: WHAT MADE 50'S TV GOLDEN (COMPILATION, (1952-60)
Art Carney, Rod Sterling, Manicurist Madge, Ted Mack, Annette & Frankie, The Champs, Don Adams. It was Ted Mack'sAmateur Hour that introduced Frank Sinatra, Connie Francis, Pat Boone. (UPI)

10 THE PATTI PAGE SHOW (1958)
The Singin' Rage sings the immortal Tennessee Waltz, it doesn't get any better than this. Also from her show, Patti croons over that cute little Doggie In The Window. (syndicated)

11 BLOOPERS FROM THE HONEYMOONERS (1957-58)
On live TV: Audrey misses her entrance cue, Jackie's fly is open (watch how brilliantly he improvs). Jackie slips on the set (happened again at CBS, where he broke his leg) ( Du Mont ) see also ch.30 & 82,

12 THE CENSORED JERRY LEE LEWIS HERE UNCENSORED! (1957-59)
Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls Of Fire! The' "Killer" smooches his child bride cousin on a filmed news interview on stage, he goes wild performing (looks like today's metal rockers). The networks nixed both. (UPI)

13 A TRUE 50's DOO WOP TV CLASSIC(1958)
Rare Clip: The Del Vikings Perform Jitterbug Mary (taped at WOOK-TV Baltimore) *There's many more classic Doo Wop Originals On The Classic Oldies Video Jukebox below.

14 the original FAMILY AFFAIR (1966)
Brian Keith & Sebastian Cabot sin the last of the sentimental family sitcoms (despite failed 2004 remake. An affluent bachelor and his butler suddenly gain custody of adorable orphaned nieces and nephew (CBS)

15 ALAN FREED'S BIG BEAT DANCE PARTY DANCERS (1959)
Local NYC Ch. 5 Freed show regulars dance and post-payola Alan Freed's parting statement (Metromedia); plus Dick Clark's rigid payola statement to an angry Senate investigator (UPI)

16 THE STEVE ALLEN SHOW (1957)
Steverino's classic rock and roll poetic hate reading of Be Bop A Lula, no apology to Gene Vincent. Steve snubbed rock, had no rock acts on his show, but then booked them on his shows to get ratings (NBC).

17 The Inventor Of TV Sketch Comedy ERNIE KOVACS (1954)
Long before SNL, imitated by his contemporaries (Berle, Gleason, Skelton), he was the true inventor of TV sketch satire. Ernie's Kovacs; vignettes could have been taped yesterday - still look contemporary, he was a TV comedy visionary. There are more Ernie Kovacs comedy innovation in our Oldies Television Trivia Quiz, link below.

18 THE RED SKELTON SHOW (1959)
Red as Clem Kaddiddlehoffer going to college, with guests: Reed Haley ("Racket Squad") & Marvin Kaplan ("Meet Millie") We included Red's traditional, eye candy June Taylor Dancers' sketch opening and Red laughing at his own jokes (CBS)

19 ICONS: THE DELINQUENCY RAMPAGE! (COMPILATION, 1957-60)
Hoods, Dolls, Street Fights, Make Out Points & ...Barry Goldwater. "Cool man. Ya dig it? Like, Wow! Ya square'r sometin?" This, kids, was how your parent's parents perceived the next out of control, immoral generation (AIP)

20 FATHER KNOWS BEST (1953)
Full Episode of The definitive aspartame family sitcom: Betty & Kathy feud begin over a bathing suit Robert Young, Jane Wyatt, Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray, Lauren Chapin. (CBS)

21 PETTICOAT JUNCTION (1962)
Bea Bernadette and Edgar Buchanan bring up three perky teenage countrypolitan girls in Hooterville, at the Shady Rest Hotel; this show was the precursor to Green Acres Toot toot! (CBS)

22OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST BOB MATTHIAS (1956)
1952 Olympic Triathlon Champ Discusses The games & movie debut with mild mannered Herb Sheldon. Sheldon hosted several shows ranging from talk, to teen dance, to Ricky Tick Piano. ( Du Mont )

23 : DANCES OF THE 1950's: THE HAND JIVE (1957)
Teens perform the Hand Jive dance to Johnnie Otis' Willie & The Hand Jive adlib with Rockette precision ( DuMont ) What do Johnny Otis, Grateful Dead, Eric Clapton & Grease have in common? Read how the Jive goes on today.

24 GROUCHO MARX YOU BET YOUR LIFE (1959)
Contestants: Then 11 year old Candice Bergen appearing with dad, Edgar; also Groucho's daughter, Melinda. Are the dads smarter than the 6th graders? In part 2, Dads join daughters in the quiz. Say the secret word! (NBC)

25 the original DRAGNET(1959)
The granddaddy of all TV cop shows and the definitive police melodrama with Jack Webb as Sgt. Joe Friday, Ben Alexander as Officer Frank Smith. Olan Soule as the lab tech. Just the facts, ma'am. (NBC)

26 THE IMMORTAL MUSICAL COMEDY OF VICTOR BORGE 1951
Victor and the symphony orchestra give a new twist to Listz and it is a classic Borge, both a musical & comedy genius. VictorBorge's precision piano and satiric talent are as natural as his warmth. (CBS)

27 EDDIE FISHER SINGS A MEDLEY OF HIS BIGGEST HITS 1953
Eddie croons I'm Walking Behind You, Anytime, With These Hands, Oh My Papa on his TV show. Like the era crooners, Fisher got 15 minutes a week to enthrall fans..and also Liz Taylor & Debbie Reynolds.. (NBC)

28 ABBOTT & COSTELLO:L WHO'S ON FIRST? 1951
This is the signature Bud Abbot and Lou Costello comedy routine that is often imitated, never duplicated. The duo did hosting stints on The Colegate Comedy Hour and Hollywood Palace . (NBC)

29 MORE DANCES OF THE 1950's THE JITTERBUG 1958
It started with Cab Calloway and ended up the most popular moves on American Bandstand, et al. Here, it becomes the domain of Bill Haley & The Comets' ripping off Little Richards' "Gonna Rip It Up." (AIP).

30. THE HONEYMOONERS ...IN COLOR! 1969
Ralph & Ed are jailed in Paris , accused of counterfeiting. Ed's escape plan backfires with hilarious results. Gleason wanted the show taped by Wometco TV in Miami , Audrey Meadows & Joyce Randolph had NYC commitments Shiela Macrae & Jane Kean played wives Alice & Trixie; TV audiences didn't accept the change. (CBS)

31 THE ORIGINAL FLASH GORDON SERIAL theatres-1939; TV-1960's
Before TJ's doo wop concerts, PBS used Buster Crabbe's Flash Gordon cinema serials rattle the PBS tin cup. >From Captain Video to Captains Kirk, Picard & Janeway, scifi and space travel was always a TV niche. (PBS)

32 Full Episode THE LONE RANGER 1955
Hi Ho, Silver! It's the granddaddy of weekly TV western series starring oft masked Clayton Moore. The Lone Ranger was the top rated #1 of the many Saturday afternoon "thataway" exciting oaters Here is the full version of the debut episode, Enter The Lone Ranger Hi, Ho Silver! (syndicated).

33 THE ENDEARING GRIMACES OF EDDIE CANTOR 1952
Hosting The Colegate Comedy Hour, Eddie pantomimes a sketch as the hapless victim of a vixen. A forgotten legend, Cantor's expressive face and singing style warmed the cockles of viewer's hearts. (NBC)

34 BOBBY DARIN NERVOUSLY HOSTS A BEAUTY CONTEST 1957
Long before having his own weekly show, Bobby's first TV emcee gig, hosting a product hyped beauty pageant Uh oh, , what a disaster! The contestant names are mixed up and so are the sponsor's promo lines ( Du Mont )

35 MORE DANCES OF THE 1950's: THE LINDY HOP 1959
From American Bandstand in Philly, to a Dick Clark special in St. Louis to The Jersey Shore, everybody was Lindy Hopping to Danny & The Juniors "At The Hop" You can swing it, you can do it (ABC) ...and there's more Danny & The Juniors, here to stay, on our Classic Oldies Video Jukebox (below)

36 SHAKE, BABY, SHAKE! IT'S THE KILLER AGAIN! 1958
Jerry Lee Lewis brings down the house again for his rehearsed fan club prez on Dick Clark's show. The fireball shooter misses the song cues and a camera catches a guy trying to jump on stage. (ABC)

37. THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW 1958
"Make Room For Daddy" with rare Danny Thomas, Marjorie Lord, Rusty Hammer, Angela Cartwright. The kids wreak havoc on daddy and mommy with a divide and concur tactic. (CBS) Please support St. Jude's Children's Hospital founded by Danny. Help save lives of children with cancer.

38 SID CAESAR: YOUR SHOW OF SHOWS 1957
Legendary sketch comedy with co-stars Imogene Coca, Carl Reiner & Howie Morris as "Uncle Goofy" doing their classic takeoff on This Is Your Life, also a glimpse of The Timepiece (CBS)

39 HERE COMES TOBOR! 1954
Before Captain Video got a hold of Tobor, little Robbie ran the prequel to "Tobor The Great." Madison Ave jumped on ship with a cardboard Tobor mask. Don't laugh, they sold. ( Du Mont )

40 THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN 1954
After the animation came TV's live Superman series starring George Reeves and Noel Neill as Lois Lane Lois gets is abducted by a gangster, Superman sans Clark Kent saves the damsel in distress. (CBS)

41 THE ADVENTURES OF FLIPPER 1964
Let's get our minds off killer whales and go back to this beloved, adorable dolphin. Each week this amazing mammal fascinated kids and adults by solving mysteries! (synd.)

42 SPIKE JONES 1951
Spike & the gang of hilarious musical whackies perform their signature "Cocktails For Two." As you see this wild musical circus, know Spike Jones choreographed the zany antics. ( Du Mont )

43 CAPTAIN VIDEO & HIS VIDEO RANGERS 1950
Before Captain Kirk, there was Captain Video chasing those bad guys around the galaxy. The "Star Trek" of it's time, network program directors made the very same mistake. ( Du Mont )

44. THE LIBERACE SHOW 1952
Walter Liberace brought style to candlelight piano music, with, of course, brother George on violin. This rare clip captures the musical heart and soul of the flamboyant pianist. ( Du Mont )

45 MEDIC 1954
First and still best medical drama series. Richard Boone as Konrad Steiner MD. Still as relevant: prizefighter befelled by Diabetes. This is pioneer medical TV drama. (NBC)

46 THE BIG VALLEY 1965
Outstanding Western series with Barbara Stanwyck, Lee Majors and Linda Evans Full episode: "Heritage" Fanatics threaten to blow up the Bartley mine (NBC)

47 THE ROOTS OF TV BASEBALL 1950-57
Visual newsreel memories of baseball's great early years, featuring a tribute to Jackie Robinson So relevant now: Robinson broke the color line in baseball, Obama in the US presidency. (Movietone)

48 Mc HALE'S NAVY 1962
Before cracking up Harvey Korman, Tim Conway was sidekick to Ernest Borgnine on this military sitcom View a full half hour episode and watch Tim fall (literally) for a Lt. Commander Nurse. (NBC)

49 HOPALONG CASSIDY 1952
The Saturday afternoon TV Western staple starring William Boyd as frontier vigilante Hoppy. Of the many Saturday TV matinee oaters, this ranked #2 in ratings. Giddyap! (syndicated)

50 DARK SHADOWS 1966
The first Weekday afternoon TV gothic soap opera, Jonathan Frid as the Vampire Barnaby Collins. For a brief time, this breakthrough gothic drama out-ranked established serial dramas in ratings. (ABC)

51 FADS & FANCIES OF THE 50s & 60s
The Hula Hoop, Twist, Palisades Park Beauty Contests, Rock-Ola Juke Box, Ford Thunderbird, more set to the music of The Olympics' "Dance By The Light Of The Moon" (edited by CI)

52 I LOVE LUCY 1952
Highlights from TV episodes involving the coming of "Little Ricky" that captured viewer's hearts. Ricky gets the news during his club performances, he and the Mertzes go frenetic when "it's time". Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, Vivian Vance, William Frawley. (CBS)

53 full episode THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW 1962
You asked for it, here it is, Dick Van Dyke, Mary Tyler Moore with guest Bob Crane (Hogan's Heroes . Dick is directing a community theatre show, Mary sings & dances a vampy Calypso song Ohhh, Rob! (CBS)

54 THE BEATLES FIRST TELEVISION APPEARANCE 1963
Not yet on Sullivan or in the U.S. , the Fab Four debuted "She Loves You" On The Mersey Sound (BBC) *There's more Beatles & other British Invasion classics on the Classic Oldies Video Juke Box below.

55 BAT MASTERSON 1958
Gene Barry stars as the debonair Bat Masterson, this episode "The Stampede In Tent City Guest stars Robert Conrad as the vigilante out to avenge his brother's killer (NBC)

56 MARTY ROBBINS ON THE JOHNNY CASH SHOW 1964
Back in the 60's, Holiday Inn funded half hour shows for Dolly Parton, Bobby Vinton & Marty Robbins Before his own show aired, Marty sang " El Paso " on Johnny Cash's short lived TV gig (syndicated)

57 FRANK SINATRA SPEAKS CANDIDLY 1954
Would you believe, a humble Frank Sinatra? He speaks openly about the bad years, gratitude to Bob Hope & his all time favorite movie role (can you guess which one?). (CBS)

58 PASSWORD 1962
Allen Ludden hosted this enormously popular game show 1962 to 1971 on all 3 networks & syndication Allen vies celebs Carol Burnett and Gary Moore against contestants to win $250-big prize then (CBS)

59 The Phenomenon STAR TREK TV ON DEMAND 1966-present
Now you don't have to sit up and wait until 3AM when stations run Star Trek episodes. Get them here right now!. Watch Full Episodes of Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Deep Space 9, Voyager, Enterprise (synd Paramount ) Also a clip of Trek's post cancellation UK placebo, SPACE:1999 with Martin Landau & Barbara Bain (ITV).

60 MORE DANCES OF THE 50's: THE SWINGBACK 1958
New York teens dance The Swingback (also called The Sway) to Duane Eddy's "Forty Miles Of Bad Road" The hips swayed and the preachers prayed rock & roll would go away. It didn't. (MGM)

61 THE LIVE TV FRIDGE COMMERCIAL CATASTROPHE 1954
Poor Westinghouse. If their built in antenna TV fiasco wasn't enough, more flawed, chagrin causing infamy: the automaticrefrigerator door that jammed on this live nationally broadcast commercial. Bet heads rolled! (CBS)

62 THE ARTHUR GODFREY SHOW 1957
He ridiculed sponsors, fired staff on the air, fixed talent contests and made Godlike demands on execs, crew - yet still got big ratings, ruled corporate airwaves and network, sort of like Oprah does now, sans chicanery (CBS)

63 BUILDING THE 1958 DODGE 1957
What a retrospect! A TV industrial film goes inside the Dodge automotive plant foundry to finish.  In 1979, Chrysler received a government bailout to make new Dodge cars. Sound familiar? (commercial).

64 FIGHT CLASSIC: ROCKY MARCIANO vs. JERSEY JOE WALCOTT 1952
Highlights from that historic championship boxing match in Philadelphia September 12, 1952.  Of course you'll see that boffo KO comeback in the 13th round.  This is the true Rocky, Sly. ( DuMont ).
Check out Dynamite Joe Rindone's fights, too, on Oldies Television Ch 79!

65 AND MORE GREAT ICONS OF THE 50's VOL III 1952-59
Richard Nixon's first scandal, John Wayne's PSA, Marilyn Monroe's Motor Oil, Jimmy Durante's Schnozz, George Burns & Gracie Allen, Jack Benny & Dennis Day, Laurel & Hardy, Jackie & Art's "Hello, Ball!"

66 ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS 1959
With a "good evening," came melodramatic thrillers from the Master Of Suspense, Alfred Hitchcock The man whose big screen movies kept us on the edge of our seats brought the same to small screens (CBS).

67 SATURDAY NIGHTLIVE~~ BEFORE SNL 1954-58
All Broadcast Live Sat Eves: The Bob Hope Show, The Liberace Show, The Ken Murray Show, Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis, The Steve Allen Show, The Pat Harrington Show, The Jackie Gleason Show Sid Cesar's Your Show Of Shows. Watch many surprises with regulars & guests. (ABC-CBS-DuMont-NBC).

68 FELIX THE CAT 1959
In 1928, RCA testing Vladimir Zworkyn's iconoscope , Felix The Cat was the first image ever on TV; Oldies Television's roster would not be complete without Otto Mesmer's historic cartoon icon. Here is his 1959 Saturday cartoon show with a new, hip updated opening that we can just ignore.(NBC).

69 THE DONNA REED SHOW 1958
Donna mugs nervously to the camera when daughter, Mary (Shelley Fabares) sings at a school dance. The song she sings? "Johnny Angel," of course. Dad (Dr. Stone, Carl Betz) allays Mom's fears. Full episode soon and check out the Donna Reed Christmas Show below on ch 79 (NBC)

70 full episode THE GOLDBERGS 1952
Gertrude Berg served as executive producer and co-writer as well as star of this beloved sitcom about the matriarch (Molly) of a middle class Jewish family. Frank Sutton, who would later be Gomer Pyle's Sarge, guest stars in this episode. (synd.)

71 LUCILLE BALL & CAROL BURNETT 1965
Two queens of comedy together with Gale Gordon as straight man on "The Lucy Show". Lucy wants to join Carol on a trip to Palm Springs , they scheme to fool Boss Mooney. (CBS)

72 THE LITTLE RASCALS 1955
The top Saturday morning TV attraction in the 50's was the re-worked MGM "Our Gang Comedies" This favorite classic episode has Darla wooing Alfalfa rather than vice versa on Valentine Day. Of course, the other guys would throw a hilarious gremlin in Alfalfa's romantic ballad crooning. (synd.)

73 full episode HIGHWAY PATROL 1956
Before there was "Book 'em, Dano" in Hawaii , there was "Ten.Four" in California . Broderick Crawford starred, If you think dope smuggling was a thing of the 70's, wait 'til you see this narc bust in the 50's. (ZIV/MGM synd.).

74 full episode LOST IN SPACE 1966
Danger Will Robinson! The world's first and last outer space sitcom; today, like "Trek," has fan conventions. This episode guest stars Mercedes Mc Cambridge (The Exorcist), here as matriarch of alien hillbillies who grow a "Little Shop of Horrors" intruded upon by Dr Smith (Jonathan Harris) and Will (Bill Muny) (ABC)

75 BEULAH 1951
Long before The Jefferson's and Sanford & Son even before Amos & Andy on TV. there was the talented Ethel Waters assupermaid Beaulah & Butterfly Mc Queen as next door Orio Sadly, Proctor & Gamble canceled the highly rated, popular show after only two seasons. Guess why.(CBS)

76 BEWITCHED 1966
Wriggle your nose, it's Elizabeth Montgomery as that saucy, sassy, beautiful, bedazzling witch and Dick York as her befuddledhubbie, Darren (or as Agnes Moorhead would say, "Durwood" (NBC)

77 I DREAM OF JEANIE 1966
Out of the bottle comes that lusciously capricious Jeanie, Barbara Eden (blink-blink).

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

President Pryor ...32 years ago

2011-10-09T17:14:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=-_cdbByTeNE

Is this a great country or what?

2011-10-02T19:16:00.001-07:00

One hell of a camper

2011-10-02T19:15:00.001-07:00

Keeping perspective

2011-10-02T19:14:00.001-07:00

Just in case you weren'tfeeling too old today......... The people who are startingcollege this fall were born in 1992. They are too young to rememberthe space shuttle blowing up.
Their lifetime has alwaysincluded AIDS. The CD was introduced two yearsbefore they were born. They have always had ananswering machine. They have always had cable. Jay Leno has always beenon the Tonight Show. Popcorn has alwaysbeen microwaved..They never took a swimand thought about Jaws. They don't know who Morkwas or where he was from. They never heard: 'Where's the Beef?','I'd walk a mile for a Camel ' or'de plane Boss, de plane'. McDonald's never came inStyrofoam containers. They don't have a cluehow to use a typewriter. Pass this on to the otherold fogies on your list. P.S. Save the earth.It's the only planet with chocolate

Cat in the Hat on getting older

2011-10-02T19:13:00.001-07:00

One of the problems facing this country today

2011-10-02T19:12:00.001-07:00

New House, New Pool..

2011-09-05T22:01:00.001-07:00

http://biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=28443

Hilarious stand up by Dan Nainan.

2011-09-05T19:55:00.001-07:00

http://www.wimp.com/hilariousdan/

FREE ENTERPRISE

2011-09-05T19:44:00.000-07:00

I never cease to marvel at the Free Enterprise System, When a product reaches the point where it's nigh on to impossible to improve its functionality, someone will still come up with a way to make people want to ditch their old one and get yours.

Check out these motorcycle helmets. The Cops will love these

The stimulus

2011-09-05T19:22:00.000-07:00

Some have said that the stimulus hasn't saved any jobs! But here is a case where at least one job was saved! Take for instance Oregon State University Athletic Director Bob DeCarolis' dilemma. Mr. DeCarolis was considering firing their Basketball Coach, Craig Robinson, after an 8 -11 start (2-5 in the Pac 10 Conference).When word reached Washington , Undersecretary of Education Martha Kanter was dispatched to Corvallis with $17 million in stimulus money for the university. Thankfully,Craig Robinson's job is safe for another year! Now comes the interesting part of our story... For those of you unfamiliar with Coach Robinson, he just so happens to be the brother in law of none other than our country's beloved President. NOW YOUR CATCHING ON... he is the brother of Michelle Obama!But hey, can't we all come to the conclusion that Coach Robinson's job security was all just a coincidence? I'm sure of it... aren't You?Thank Goodness For The Stimulus! But $17 million for one job? I wonder what mine is worth? If this doesn't anger you, nothing will... remember to vote this fall!

Thomas Jefferson

2011-07-16T16:50:00.001-07:00

Resume of Thomas Jefferson-must read and some of his quotes below
Resume of Thomas Jefferson

At 5, began studying under his cousin's tutor.
At 9, studied Latin, Greek and French.
At 14, studied classical literature and additional languages.
At 16, entered the College of William and Mary.
At 19, studied Law for 5 years starting under George Wythe.
At 23, started his own law practice.

At 25, was elected to the Virginia House of Burgesses.
At 31, wrote the widely circulated "Summary View of the Rights of British America" and retired from his law practice.
At 32, was a Delegate to the Second Continental Congress.
At 33, wrote the Declaration of Independence.
At 33, took three years to revise Virginias legal code and wrote a Public Education bill and a statute for Religious Freedom.
At 36, was elected the second Governor of Virginia succeeding Patrick Henry.
At 40, served in Congress for two years.
At 41, was the American minister to France and negotiated commercial treaties with European nations along with Ben Franklin and John Adams.
At 46, served as the first Secretary of State under George Washington.
At 53, served as Vice President and was elected president of the American Philosophical Society.
At 55, drafted the Kentucky Resolutions and became the active head of Republican Party.
At 57, was elected the third president of the United States.
At 60, obtained the Louisiana Purchase doubling the nation's size.
At 61, was elected to a second term as President.
At 65, retired to Monticello.
At 80, helped President Monroe shape the Monroe Doctrine.
At 81, almost single-handedly created the University of Virginia and served as its first president.
At 83, died on the 50th anniversary of the Signing of the Declaration of Independence along with John Adams, July 4, 1826

John F. Kennedy held a dinner in the White House for a group of the brightest minds in the nation at that time. He made this statement: "This is perhaps the assembly of the most intelligence ever to gather at one time in the White House with the exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone."

"When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe."
Thomas Jefferson
"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not."
Thomas Jefferson
"It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world."
Thomas Jefferson
"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them."
Thomas Jefferson
"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government."
Thomas Jefferson
"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms."
Thomas Jefferson
"The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."
Thomas Jefferson
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
Thomas Jefferson
"To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical."
Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson said in 1802:
"I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property - until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered."

I wish we could get this out to everyone!!!
I'm doing my part. Please do yours......

9 Things That Might Disappear In Our Lifetime.

2011-06-26T19:09:00.000-07:00

1. The Post Office
Get ready to imagine a world without the post office. They are so deeply in financial trouble that there is probably no way to sustain it long term. Email, Fed Ex, and UPS have just about wiped out the minimum revenue needed to keep the post office alive. Most of your mail every day is junk mail and bills.

2. The Cheque
Britain is already laying the groundwork to do away with cheque by 2018. It costs the financial system billions of dollars a year to process cheques. Plastic cards and online transactions will lead to the eventual demise of the cheque. This plays right into the death of the post office. If you never paid your bills by mail and never received them by mail, the post office would absolutely go out of business.

3. The Newspaper
The younger generation simply doesn't read the newspaper. They certainly don't subscribe to a daily delivered print edition. That may go the way of the milkman and the laundry man. As for reading the paper online, get ready to pay for it. The rise in mobile Internet devices and e-readers has caused all the newspaper and magazine publishers to form an alliance. They have met with Apple, Amazon, and the major cell phone companies to develop a model for paid subscription services.

4. The Book
You say you will never give up the physical book that you hold in your hand and turn the literal pages. I said the same thing about downloading music from iTunes. I wanted my hard copy CD. But I quickly changed my mind when I discovered that I could get albums for half the price without ever leaving home to get the latest music. The same thing will happen with books. You can browse a bookstore online and even read a preview chapter before you buy. And the price is less than half that of a real book. And think of the convenience! Once you start flicking your fingers on the screen instead of the book, you find that you are lost in the story, can't wait to see what happens next, and you forget that you're holding a gadget instead of a book.

5. The Land Line Telephone
Unless you have a large family and make a lot of local calls, you don't need it anymore. Most people keep it simply because they've always had it. But you are paying double charges for that extra service. All the cell phone companies will let you call customers using the same cell provider for no charge against your minutes

6. Music
This is one of the saddest parts of the change story. The music industry is dying a slow death. Not just because of illegal downloading. It's the lack of innovative new music being given a chance to get to the people who would like to hear it. Greed and corruption is the problem. The record labels and the radio conglomerates are simply self-destructing. Over 40% of the music purchased today is "catalogue items," meaning traditional music that the public is familiar with. Older established artists. This is also true on the live concert circuit. To explore this fascinating and disturbing topic further, check out the book, "Appetite for Self-Destruction" by Steve Knopper, and the video documentary, "Before the Music Dies."

7. Television
Revenues to the networks are down dramatically. Not just because of the economy. People are watching TV and movies streamed from their computers. And they're playing games and doing lots of other things that take up the time that used to be spent watching TV. Prime time shows have degenerated down to lower than the lowest common denominator. Cable rates are skyrocketing and commercials run about every 4 minutes and 30 seconds. I say good riddance to most of it. It's time for the cable companies to be put out of our misery. Let the people choose what they want to watch online and through Netflix.

8. The "Things" That You Own
Many of the very possessions that we used to own are still in our lives, but we may not actually own them in the future. They may simply reside in "the cloud." Today your computer has a hard drive and you store your pictures, music, movies, and documents. Your software is on a CD or DVD, and you can always re-install it if need be. But all of that is changing. Apple, Microsoft, and Google are all finishing up their latest "cloud services." That means that when you turn on a computer, the Internet will be built into the operating system. So, Windows, Google, and the Mac OS will be tied straight into the Internet. If you click an icon, it will open something in the Internet cloud. If you save something, it will be saved to the cloud. And you may pay a monthly subscription fee to the cloud provider. In this virtual world, you can access your music or your books, or your whatever from any laptop or handheld device. That's the good news. But, will you actually own any of this "stuff" or will it all be able to disappear at any moment in a big "Poof?" Will most of the things in our lives be disposable and whimsical? It makes you want to run to the closet and pull out that photo album, grab a book from the shelf, or open up a CD case and pull out the insert.

9. Privacy
If there ever was a concept that we can look back on nostalgically, it would be privacy. That's gone. It's been gone for a long time anyway. There are cameras on the street, in most of the buildings, and even built into your computer and cell phone. But you can be sure that 24/7, "They" know who you are and where you are, right down to the GPS coordinates, and the Google Street View. If you buy something, your habit is put into a zillion profiles, and your ads will change to reflect those habits. "They" will try to get you to buy something else. Again and again.

All we will have left that can't be changed are "Memories".
And then probably Alzheimers will take that away from you too!

BEST HOMELESS SIGNS

2011-06-26T17:24:00.000-07:00

STAR TREK BLOOPERS 1960`s

2011-04-03T21:33:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZAkGfJY05k&feature=related

Bonanza outtakes

2011-04-03T21:31:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0Yso9Vwh_A&feature=related

senior citizens

2011-03-26T18:36:00.000-07:00

A senior citizen speaks

2011-03-05T17:33:00.001-08:00

A senior citizen speaks

Here's a guy that really knows how to vent!

Alan Simpson, Senator from Wyoming , Co-Chair of Obama's deficit
commission, calls senior citizens the Greediest Generation as he
compared "Social Security" to a Milk Cow with 310 million teats.
August, 2010.

Here's a response in a letter from a unknown fellow in Montana ... I
think he is a little ticked off ! He also tells it like it is !

"Hey Alan, let's get a few things straight...

1. As a career politician, you have been on the public dole for FIFTY YEARS.

2. I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15
years old. I am now 63).

3. My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other
Americans, were safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for
decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give
OUR money to a bunch of zero ambition losers in return for votes, thus
bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme
that would have made Bernie Madoff proud.

4. Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and your ilk pulled the
proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing
retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 to
age 67. NOW, you and your shill commission is proposing to move the
goalposts YET AGAIN.

5. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare
from Day One, and now you morons propose to change the rules of the
game. Why? Because you idiots mismanaged other parts of the economy to
such an extent that you need to steal money from Medicare to pay the
bills.

6. I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our
entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again. Why?
Because you incompetent bastards spent our money so profligately that
you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money. Now, you
come to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay off YOUR
debt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To add insult to injury, you label us "greedy" for calling "bullshit" on
your incompetence. Well, Captain Bullshit, I have a few questions for YOU.

1. How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during
your pathetic 50-year political career?

2. At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and
how much are you receiving in annual retirement benefits from the
American taxpayers?

3. How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance?

4. What cuts in YOUR retirement and healthcare benefits are you
proposing in your disgusting deficit reduction proposal, or, as usual,
have you exempted yourself and your political cronies?

It is you, Captain Bullshit, and your political co-conspirators who are
"greedy". It is you and they who have bankrupted America and stolen
the American dream from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers. And
for what?

Votes. That's right, sir. You and yours have bankrupted America for
the sole purpose of advancing your pathetic political careers. You
know it, we know it, and you know that we know it.

And you can take that to the bank, you miserable son of a bitch."

Space

2011-01-09T18:15:00.001-08:00

http://triggerpit.com/2010/11/22/incredible-pics-nasa-astronaut-wheelock/

Broke ass Americans

2011-01-09T18:11:00.000-08:00

This is very POTENT !

I'M so glad some one had the GUTS to send this out !

We're broke ASS AMERICAN'S!!

We're "broke" & can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans,Homeless etc...........

We allow illegal aliens to enter our country, have babies that we provide FREE housing, medical care, food stamps, welfare, education that cost us broke ass Americans 22 BILLION a year...not to mention the thousands of Americans that have been victims of crimes and DUI's.

In the recent past we have provided aid toHaiti, Chile and Turkey.

Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no aid or get any breaks while our government pours
Hundreds of Millions of $$$$$'s and Tons of Food into Foreign Countries!

We have hundreds of adoptable children who are shoved aside to make room for the adoption of foreign orphans.

USA, a country where we have homeless without shelter, children going to bed hungry,
elderly going without 'needed' meds, and mentally ill without treatment - etc,etc...
YET...................
They have a 'Benefit' for the people of Haiti on 12 TV stations, ships and planes lining up with food, water, tents clothes, bedding, doctors and medical supplies.

Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave 'us' the same support they give to other countries.

Sad isn't it?

99% of people won't have the guts to forward this.
I Just Did!

Accident

2010-12-19T20:02:00.001-08:00

The hail storm

2010-11-27T18:57:00.000-08:00

The luckiest people in the world

2010-11-27T18:52:00.000-08:00

You say your mad?

2010-11-06T17:19:00.000-07:00

Folks:
Lets keep a copy in our pockets for quick reference when speaking
with our ... 'friends' on the other side.

After The 8 Years Of The Bush/Cheney Disaster, Now You Get
Mad?

You didn't get mad when the Supreme Court stopped a legal recount
and appointed a President.

You didn't get mad when Cheney allowed Energy company officials
to dictate Energy policy and push us to invade Iraq .

You didn't get mad when a covert CIA operative got outed.

You didn't get mad when the Patriot Act got passed.

You didn't get mad when we illegally invaded a country that posed
no threat to us.

You didn't get mad when we spent over 800 billion (and counting)
on said illegal war.

You didn't get mad when Bush borrowed more money from foreign
sources than the previous 42 Presidents combined.

You didn't get mad when over 10 billion dollars in cash just
disappeared in Iraq .

You didn't get mad when you found out we were torturing people.

You didn't get mad when Bush embraced trade and outsourcing
policies that shipped 6 million American jobs out of the country.

You didn't get mad when the government was illegally wiretapping
Americans.

You didn't get mad when we didn't catch Bin Laden. You didn't get
mad when Bush rang up 10 trillion dollars in combined budget and
current account deficits.

You didn't get mad when you saw the horrible conditions at Walter
Reed.

You didn't get mad when we let a major US city, New Orleans
, drown.

You didn't get mad when we gave people who had more money than
they could spend, the filthy rich, over a trillion dollars in tax
breaks.

You didn't get mad with the worst 8 years of job creations in
several decades.

You didn't get mad when over 200,000 US Citizens lost their lives
because they had no health insurance.

You didn't get mad when lack of oversight and regulations from
the Bush Administration caused US Citizens to lose 12 trillion
dollars in investments, retirement, and home values.

You finally got mad when a black man was elected President
and decided that people in America deserved the right to see a
doctor if they are sick. Yes, illegal wars, lies, corruption, torture,
job losses by the millions, stealing your tax dollars to make the
rich richer, and the worst economic disaster since 1929 are all
okay with you, but helping fellow Americans who are sick...Oh,
Hell No!!

mike mine freedom

2010-10-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

1948 cartoon

Lottery winner

2010-10-09T22:02:00.000-07:00

OOPs I crapped my pants

2010-10-02T19:00:00.000-07:00

U WILL LOVE THIS! JUST CLICK ON THE ONE YOU WANT.

2010-09-18T16:38:00.001-07:00

1 JACKIE GLEASON ON THE ROCKY MARCIANO SHOW THE MAIN EVENT (1960)
Jackie recalls his early days as a night club comic in Newark , NJ (and the brawl);
also, Jackie receives a humanitarian award from Rocky and salutes sidekick Art Carney ( Du Mont )
Bloopers from The Honeymooners on OTV ch 11 also ch. 30; Marciano v. Wolcott fight on ch. 64
2 JAMES DEAN: HIS FINAL TV APPEARANCE (1954)
Rebellious trait obvious, James Dean talks about car racing and safety on Gig Young's show;
Walks off set a mention of speeding; eerily, Dean was killed days later in a tragic car collisiom. ( Du Mont )
3 ELVIS SINGS BLUE SUEDE SHOES (1956)
The King lives here! Elvis Presley debuts on "The Tom my & Jim my Dorsey Show." (CBS)
In the house: Elvis sings many more of his hits on our Classic Oldies Video Juke Box below!
4 A TRIBUTE TO ELVIS PRESLEY, THE KING OF ROCK & ROLL (1959-62)
Clips of The King from his early days to induction into the Army, see The King's mom, dad & Col. Tom
Hear Elvis' first #1 1957 hit for RCA, Heartbreak Hotel. (clips from Movietone & AP News)
5 THE EDSEL INTRODUCED ON NBC(1957)
Ford paid the network big dollars (in those days) to run this filmed The Edsel Show promotion.
Ford canned the car shortly after; it is today a revered automotive classic. (NBC) More 50s cars ch.63v
6 BOBBY DARIN'S "MACK THE KNIFE" (1959)
Bobby opened his first of hour variety shows performing his biggest number one hit.
(and his label, Atco, didn't want him to record it!) (CBS)
*There's more Bobby below: hosting a beauty contest & on the OldiesTeleVision Video Juke Box.
7 WESTINGHOUSE DEBUTS HI-TECH "ADVANCED TV" (1951)
Show the kids hi-tech video blossoming before anyone heard of cable, satellite or HDTV. They may chuckle,
The "one knob-no antenna-black matrix pix tube" had viewers in awe..but it was a technical disaster. (TVC)
8 WILLIAM BENDIX AS LOVABLE CHESTER A. RILEY (1956)
The Life Of Riley with Marjorie Reynolds, Tom D'andrea, Lugene Sanders, Wesley Morgan
Once played by Groucho Marx & Jackie Gleason, Bendix's Riley was the definitive blue collar family guy.
Watch Riley, delirious over having his tonsils removed, drive family, Gillis, & hospital nurse (Honeybee) crazy!(CBS)
9 ICONS I: WHAT MADE 50'S TV GOLDEN (COMPILATION, (1952-60)
Art Carney, Rod Serling, Manicurist Madge, Ted Mack, Ann ette & Frankie, The Champs, Don Adams.
It was Ted Mack's Amateur Hour that introduced Frank Sinatra, Connie Francis, Pat Boone. (UPI)
10 THE PATTI PAGE SHOW (1958)
The Singin' Rage sings the immortal Tennessee Waltz, it doesn't get anny better than this.
Also from her show, Patti croons over that cute little Doggie In The Window. (syndicated)
11 BLOOPERS FROM THE HONEYMOONERS (1957-58)
On live TV: Audrey misses her entrance cue, Jackie's fly is open (watch how brilliantly he improvs).
Jackie slips on the set (happened again at CBS, where he broke his leg) ( Du Mont ) see also ch.30 & 82,
12 THE CENSORED JERRY LEE LEWIS HERE UNCENSORED! (1957-59)
Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls Of Fire! The' "Killer" smooches his child bride cousin on a filmed news interview
on stage, he goes wild performing (looks like today's metal rockers). The networks nixed both. (UPI)
13 A TRUE 50's DOO WOP TV CLASSIC(1958)
Rare Clip: The Del Vikings Perform Jitterbug Mary (taped at WOOK-TV Baltimore)
*There's many more classic Doo Wop Originals On The Classic Oldies Video Jukebox below.
14 the original FAMILY AFFAIR (1966)
Brian Keith & Sebastian Cabot sin the last of the sentimental family sitcoms (despite failed 2004 remake_.
An affluent bachelor and his butler uddenly gain custody of adorable orphaned nieces and nephew (CBS)
15 ALAN FREED'S BIG BEAT DANCE PARTY DANCERS (1959)
Local NYC Ch. 5 Freed show regulars dance and post- pay ola Alan Freed's parting statement (Metromedia);
plus Dick Clark's rigid pay ola statement to an angry Senate investigator (UPI)
16 THE STEVE ALLEN SHOW (1957)
Steve rino's classic rock and roll poetic hate reading of Be Bop A Lula, no apology to Gene Vincent .
Steve snubbed rock, had no rock acts on his show, but then booked them on his shows to get ratings (NBC).
17 The Inventor Of TV Sketch Comedy ERNIE KOVACS (1954)
Long before SNL, imitated by his contemporaries (Berle, Gleason, Skelton), he was the true inventor of TV sketch satire.
Ernie's Kovacs; vignettes could have been taped yesterday~still look contemporary, he was a TV comedy visionary
There are more Ernie Kovacs comedy innovation in our Oldies Television Trivia Quiz, link below.
18 THE RED SKELTON SHOW (1959)
Red as Clem Kaddiddlehoffer going to college, with guests: Reed Haley ("Racket Squad") & Marvin Kaplan ("Meet Millie")
We included Red's traditional, eye candy June Taylor Dancers' sketch opening and Red laughing at his own jokes (CBS)
19 ICONS: THE DELINQUENCY RAMPAGE! (COMPILATION, 1957-60)
Hoods, Dolls, Street Fights, Make Out Points & ...Barry Goldwater. "Cool man. Ya dig it? Like, Wow! Ya square'r sometin?"
This, kids, was how your parent's parents perceived the next out of control, immoral generation (AIP)
20 FATHER KNOWS BEST (1953)
Full Episode of The definitive aspartame family sitcom: Betty & Kathy fued begin over a bathing suit
Robert Young, Jane Wyatt, Elinor Donahue, Bill y Gray, Lauren Chapin. (CBS)
21 PETTICOAT JUNCTION (1962)
Bea Bernadette and Edgar Buchanan bring up three perky teenage countrypolitan girls in Hooterville,
at the Shady Rest Hotel; this show was the precursor to Green Acres Toot toot! (CBS)
22OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST BOB MATTHIAS (1956)
1952 Olympic Triathalon Champ Discusses The games & movie debut with mild mannered Herb Sheldon.
Sheldon hosted several shows ranging from talk, to teen dance, to Ricky Tick Piano. ( Du Mont )
23 : DANCES OF THE 1950's: THE HAND JIVE (1957)
Teens perform the Hand Jive dance to John nie Otis' Willie & The Hand Jive adlib with Rockette precision ( DuMont )
What do John ny Otis, Grateful Dead, Eric Clapton & Grease have in common? Read how the Jive goes on today.
24 GROUCHO MARX YOU BET YOUR LIFE (1959)
Contestants: Then 11 year old Candice Bergen appearing with dad, Edgar; also Groucho's daughter, Melinda.
Are the dads smarter than the 6th graders? In part 2, Dads join daughters in the quiz. Say the secret word! (NBC)
25 the original DRAGNET(1959)
The grandaddy of all TV cop shows and the definitive police melodrama with Jack Webb as Sgt. Joe Friday,
Ben Alexa nder as Officer Frank Smith. Olan Soule as the lab tech. Just the facts, ma'am. (NBC)
26 THE IMMORTAL MUSICAL COMEDY OF VICTOR BORGE 1951
Victor and the symphony orchestra give a new twist to Listz and it is a classic Borge, both a musical & comedy genius.
Victor Borge's precision piano and satiric talent are as natural as his warmth. (CBS)
27 EDDIE FISHER SINGS A MEDLEY OF HIS BIGGEST HITS 1953
Eddie croons I'm Walking Behind You, Anytime, With These Hands, Oh My Papa on his TV show.
Like the era crooners, Fisher got 15 minutes a week to enthrall fans..and also Liz Taylor & Debbie Reynolds.. (NBC)
28 ABBOTT & COSTELLO:L WHO'S ON FIRST? 1951
This is the signature Bud Abbot and Lou Costello comedy routine that is often imitated, never duplicated.
The duo did hosting stints on The Colegate Comedy Hour and Hollywood Palace . (NBC)
29 MORE DANCES OF THE 1950's THE JITTERBUG 1958
It started with Cab Calloway and ended up the most popular moves on American Bandstand, et al.
Here, it becomes the domain of Bill Haley & The Comets' ripping off Little Richards' "Gonna Rip It Up." (AIP).
30. THE HONEYMOONERS ...IN COLOR! 1969
Ralph & Ed are jailed in Paris , accused of counterfeiting. Ed's escape plan backfires with hilarious results.
Gleason wanted the show taped by Wometco TV in Miami , Audrey Meadows & Joyce Randolph had NYC commitments
Shiela Macrae & Jane Kean played wives Alice & Trixie; TV audiences didn't accept the change. (CBS)
31 THE ORIGINAL FLASH GORDON SERIAL theatres-1939; TV-1960's
Before TJ's doo wop concerts, PBS used Buster Crabbe's Flash Gordon cinema serials rattle the PBS tin cup.
>From Captain Video to Captains Kirk, Picard & Janeway, scifi and space travel was always a TV niche. (PBS)
32 Full Episode THE LONE RANGER 1955
Hi Ho, Silver! It's the grandaddy of weekly TV western series starring oft masked Clayton Moore.
The Lone Ranger was the top rated #1 of the many Saturday afternoon "thataway" exciting oaters
Here is the full version of the debut episode, Enter The Lone Ranger Hi, Ho Silver! (syndicated).
33 THE ENDEARING GRIMACES OF EDDIE CANTOR 1952
Hosting The Colegate Comedy Hour, Eddie pantomines a sketch as the hapless victim of a vixen.
A forgotten legend, Cantor's expressive face and singing style warmed the cockles of viewer's hearts. (NBC)
34 BOBBY DARIN NERVOUSLY HOSTS A BEAUTY CONTEST 1957
Long before having his own weekly show, Bobby's first TV emcee gig, hosting a product hyped beauty pageant
Uh oh, , what a disaster! The contestant names are mixed up and so are the sponsor's promo lines ( Du Mont )
35 MORE DANCES OF THE 1950's: THE LINDY HOP 1959
>From American Bandstand in Phillie, to a Dick Clark special in St. Louis to The Jersey Shore,
everybody was Lindy Hopping to Danny & The Juniors "At The Hop" You can swing it, you can do it (ABC)
...and there's more Danny & The Juniors, here to stay, on our Classic Oldies Video Jukebox (below)
36 SHAKE, BABY, SHAKE! IT'S THE KILLER AGAIN! 1958
Jerry Lee Lewis brings down the house again for his rehearsed fan club prez on Dick Clark's show.
The fireball shooter misses the song cues and a camera catches a guy trying to jump on stage. (ABC)
37. THE DANNY THOMAS SHOW 1958
"Make Room For Daddy" with rare Danny Thomas, Marjoriie Lord, Rusty Hammer, Angela Cartright.
The kids wreak havoc on daddy and mommy with a divide and concur tactic. (CBS)
Please support St. Jude's Children's Hospital founded by Danny. Help save lives of children with cancer.
38 SID CAESAR: YOUR SHOW OF SHOWS 1957
Legendary sketch comedy with co-stars Imogene Coca, Carl Reiner & Howie Morris as "Uncle Goofy"
doing their classic takeoff on This Is Your Life, also a glimpse of The Timepiece (CBS)
39 HERE COMES TOBOR! 1954
Before Captain Video got a hold of Tobor, little Robbie ran the prequel to "Tobor The Great."
Madison Ave jumped on ship with a cardboard Tobor mask. Don't laugh, they sold. ( Du Mont )
40 THE ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN 1954
After the animation came TV's live Superman series starring George Reeves and Noel Neil l as Lois Lane
Lois gets is abducted by a gangster, Superman sans Clark Kent saves the damsel in distress. (CBS)
41 THE ADVENTURES OF FLIPPER 1964
Let's get our minds off killer whales and go back to this beloved, adorable dolphin.
Each week this amazing mammal fascinated kids and adults by solving mysteries! (synd.)
42 SPIKE JONES 1951
Spike & the gang of hilarious musical whackies perform their signature "Cocktails For Two."
As you see this wild musical circus, know Spike Jones choreographed the zany antics. ( Du Mont )
43 CAPTAIN VIDEO & HIS VIDEO RANGERS 1950
Before Captain Kirk, there was Captain Video chasing those bad guys around the galaxy.
The "Star Trek" of it's time, network program directors made the very same mistake. ( Du Mont )
44. THE LIBERACE SHOW 1952
Walter Liberace brought style to candlelight piano music, with, of course, brother George on violin.
This rare clip captures the musical heart and soul of the flamboyant pianist. ( Du Mont )
45 MEDIC 1954
First and still best medical drama series. Richard Boone as Konrad Steiner MD.
Still as relevant: prizeighter befelled by Diabetes. This is pioneer medical TV drama. (NBC)
46 THE BIG VALLEY 1965
Outstanding Western series with Barb ara Stanwyck, Lee Majors and Linda Evans
Full episode: "Heritage" Fanatics threaten to blow up the Bartley mine (NBC)
47 THE ROOTS OF TV BASEBALL 1950-57
Visual newsreel memories of baseball's great early years, featuring a tribute to Jackie Robinson
So relevant now: Robinson broke the color line in baseball, Obama in the US presidency. (Movietone)
48 Mc HALE'S NAVY 1962
Before cracking up Harvey Korman, Tim Conway was sidekick to Ernest Borgnine on this military sitcom
View a full half hour episode and watch Tim fall (literally) for a Lt. Commander Nurse. (NBC)
49 HOPALONG CASSIDY 1952
The Saturday afternoon TV Western staple starring William Boyd as frontier vigilante Hoppy.
Of the many Saturday TV matinee oaters, this ranked #2 in ratings. Giddyap! (syndicated)
50 DARK SHADOWS 1966
The first Weekday afternoon TV gothic soap opera, Jonathan Frid as the Vampire Barnaby Collins.
For a brief time, this breakthrough gothic drama out-ranked established serial dramas in ratings. (ABC)
51 FADS & FANCIES OF THE 50s & 60s
The Hula Hoop, Twist, Palisades Park Beauty Contests, Rock-Ola Juke Box, Ford Thunderbird, more
set to the music of The Olympics' "Dance By The Light Of The Moon" (edited by CI)
52 I LOVE LUCY 1952
Highlights from TV episodes involving the coming of "Little Ricky" that captured viewer's hearts.
Ricky gets the news during his club performances, he and the Mertzes go frenetic when "it's time".
Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, Vivian Vance, William Frawley. (CBS)
53 full episode THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW 1962
You asked for it, here it is, Dick Van Dyke, Mary Tyler Moore with guest Bob Crane (Hogan's Heros .
Dick is directing a community theatre show, Mary sings & dances a vampy Calypso song Ohhh, Rob! (CBS)
54 THE BEATLES FIRST TELEVISION APPEARANCE 1963
Not yet on Sullivan or in the U.S. , the Fab Four debuted "She Loves You" On The Mersey Sound (BBC)
*There's more Beatles & other British Invasion classics on the Classic Oldies Video Juke Box below.
55 BAT MASTERSON 1958
Gene Barry stars as the debonair Bat Masterson, this episode "The Stampete In Tent City
Guest stars Robert Conrad as the vigilante out to avenge his brother's killer (NBC)
56 MARTY ROBBINS ON THE JOHNNY CASH SHOW 1964
Back in the 60's, Holiday Inn funded half hour shows for Dolly Parton, Bobby Vinton & Marty Robbins
Before his own show aired, Marty sang " El Paso " on John ny Cash's short lived TV gig (syndicated)
57 FRANK SINATRA SPEAKS CANDIDLY 1954
Would you believe, a humble Frank Sinatra? He speaks openly about the bad years,
gratitude to Bob Hope & his all time favorite movie role (can you guess which one?). (CBS)
58 PASSWORD 1962
Allen Ludden hosted this enormously popular game show 1962 to 1971 on all 3 networks & syndication
Allen vies celebs Carol Burnett and Gary Moore against contestants to win $250-big prize then (CBS)
59 The Phenomenon STAR TREK TV ON DEMAND 1966-present
Now you don;'t have to sit up and wait until 3AM when stations run Star Trek episodes. Get them here right now!.
Watch Full Episodes of Star Trek, Star Trek:The Next Generation, Deep Space 9, Voyager, Enterprise (synd Paramount )
Also a clip of Trek's post cancellation UK placebo, SPACE:1999 w Martin Landau, Batbara Bain (ITV).
60 MORE DANCES OF THE 50's: THE SWINGBACK 1958
New York teens dance The Swingback (also called The Sway) to Duane Eddy's "Forty Miles Of Bad Road"
The hips swayed and the preachers prayed rock & roll would go away. It didn't. (MGM)
61 THE LIVE TV FRIDGE COMMERCIAL CATASTROPHE 1954
Poor Westinghouse. If their built in antenna TV fiasco wasn't enough, more flawed, chagrin causing infamy:
the automatic referigerator door that jammed on this live nationally broadcast commercial. Bet heads rolled! (CBS)
62 THE ARTHUR GODFREY SHOW 1957
He ridiculed sponsors, fired staff on the air, fixed talent contests and made Godlike demands on execs, crew;,
yet still got big ratings, ruled corporate airwaves and network, sort of like Oprah does now, sans chicanery (CBS)
63 BUILDING THE 1958 DODGE 1957
What a retrospect! A TV industrial film goes inside the Dodge automotive plant foundry to finish<.br> In 1979, Chrysler received a government bailout to make new Dodge cars. Sound familiar? (commercial).
64 FIGHT CLASSIC: ROCKY MARCIANO vs. JERSEY JOE WALCOTT 1952
Highlights from that historic championship boxing match in Philadelphia September 12, 1952<.br> Of course you'll see that boffo KO comeback in the 13th round~this is the true Rocky, Sly. ( DuMont ).
Check out Dynamite Joe Rindone's fights, too, on Oldies Television Ch 79!
65 AND MORE GREAT ICONS OF THE 50's VOL III 1952-59
Richard Nixon's first scandal, John Wayne 's PSA, Marilyn Monroe's Motor Oil, Jim my Durante's Schnozz,
George Burns & Gracie Allen, Jack Benny & Dennis Day, Laurel & Hardy, Jackie & Art's "Hello, Ball!"
66 ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS 1959
With a "good evening," came melodramatic thrillers from the Master Of Suspense, Alfred Hitchccock
The man whose big screen movies kept us on the edge of our seats brought the same to small screens (CBS).
67 SATURDAY NIGHTLIVE~~ BEFORE SNL 1954-58
All Broadcast Live Sat Eves: The Bob Hope Show, The Liberace Show, The Ken Murray Show,
Dean Martin & Jerry Lewis, The Steve Allen Show, The Pat Harrington Show, The Jackie Gleason Show
Sid Cesar's Your Show Of Shows. Watch many surprises with regulars & guests. (ABC-CBS-DuMont-NBC).
68 FELIX THE CAT 1959
In 1928, RCA testing Vladimir Zworkyn's iconoscope , Felix The Cat was the first image ever on TV;
Oldies Television's roster would not be complete without Otto Mesmer's historic cartoon icon.
Here is his 1959 Saturday cartoon show with a new, hip updated opening that we can just ignore.(NBC).
69 THE DONNA REED SHOW 1958
Donna mugs nervously to the camera when daughter, Mary (Shelley Fabares) sings at a school dance.
The song she sings? " John ny Angel," of course. Dad (Dr. Stone, Carl Betz) allays Mom's fears.
Full episode soon and check out the Donna Reed Chris tmas Show below on ch 79 (NBC)
70 full episode THE GOLDBERGS 1952
Gertrude Berg served as executive producer and co-writer as well as star
of this beloved sitcom about the matriarch (Molly) of a middle class Jewish family.
Frank Sutton, who would later be Gomer Pyle's Sarge, guest stars in this episode. (synd.)
71 LUCILLE BALL & CAROL BURNETT 1965
Two queens of comedy together with Gale Gordon as straight man on "The Lucy Show".
Lucy wants to join Carol on a trip to Palm Springs , they scheme to fool Boss Mooney. (CBS)
72 THE LITTLE RASCALS 1955
The top Saturday morning TV attraction in the 50's was the re-worked MGM "Our Gang Comedies"
This favorite classic episode has Darla wooing Alfalfa rather than vice versa on Valentine Day.
Of course, the other guys would throw a hilarious gremlin in Alfalfa's romantic ballad crooning. (synd.)
73 full episode HIGHWAY PATROL 1956
Before there was "Book 'em, Dano" in Hawaii , there was "Ten.Four" in California . Brodericj Crawford starred,
If you think dope smuggling was a thing of the 70's, wait 'til you see this narc bust in the 50's. (ZIV/MGM synd.).
74 full episode LOST IN SPACE 1966
Danger Will Robinson! The world's first and last outer space sitcom; today, like "Trek," has fan conventions.
This episode guest stars Mercedes Mc Cambridge (The Exorcist), here as matriarch of alien hillbillies
who grow a "Little Shop of Horrors" intruded upon by Dr Snith (Jonathan Harris) and Will ( Bill Muny) (ABC)
75 BEULAH 1951
Long before The Jeffersons and Sanford & Son even before Amos & Andy on TV.
there was the talented Ethel Waters as supermaid Beaulah & Butterfly Mc Queen as next door Orio
Sadly, Proctor & Gamble canceled the highly rated, popular show after only two seasons. Guess why.(CBS)
76 BEWITCHED 1966
Wriggle your nose, it's Elizabeth Montgomery as that saucy, sassy, beautiful, bedazzling witch
and Dick York as her befuddled hubbie, Darren (or as Agnes Moorehead would say, "Durwood" (NBC)
77 I DREAM OF JEANIE 1966
Out of the bottle comes that lusciously capricious Jeanie, Barb ara Eden (blink-blink).
Larry Hagman is her adopted master, Bill Daly is the bewildered buddy (CBS).
78 SEA HUNT 1957
The "Dragnet" of the ocean floor, Lloyd Bridges fights underwater crime with only a snorkle.
This syndicated show, along with "Flipper" (coming soon), got high tide ratings in it's era (ZIV)
79 DYNAMITE JOE RINDONE 1954
Like Rocky Marciano, Joe Rindone was the son of Italian immigrants who rose to boxing glory.
Here is Dynamite Joe in action from the era when boxing was true sportsmanship.
produced by Andrew Bertino. (Vimeo).
80 THE MILTON BERLE SHOW 1957
Featuring Arnold Stang & guest Mickey Rooney; Berle's swan song after 8 Tues. Nite Years.
Bit: Berle wants Gleason like publicity, so he feigns a broken leg for a press conference (NBC)
81 THE LEGEND OF DOO WOP
That streetcorner harmony from the 50's that will never die, the music we know call Doo Wop
Here are video specials which tribute the unforgettable part of R&R and R&B
Plus REMEMBERING DOO WOP RADIO
with commentary by Don K. Reed. music by The Crests, Frankie Lymon & The Knockouts.
82 MIKE WALLACE & EDWARD R. MURROW 1952-54
If you thought Mike Wallace was tough on "60 Minutes," wait 'til you see him on the fifties!.
You won't believe what he said to Steve Allen (neither did Allen, most likely), but Kirk Douglas got his say)
Legendary Edward R. Murrow and Senator Joseph McCarthy go at calling the other "un-American"..(CBS)

2010-06-06T19:55:00.002-07:00

RED LIGHT RUNNERS

2010-06-06T19:55:00.001-07:00

COFFEE DON'T WORK!

RR CROSSING IN ND

2010-06-06T19:04:00.000-07:00

BLONDS

2010-05-30T23:27:00.001-07:00

DISNEYLAND
Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.

FLORIDA OR MOON

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

CAR
TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, 'What's the story?'

He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING
TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

RIVER
WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?

'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'

'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'

'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

BLONDE
ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'

The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'

The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

IN A
VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

FINALLY,
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'!

2010-05-30T23:13:00.000-07:00

BREAKFAST AT GINGERS

GLASS TRICK

2010-05-30T22:53:00.000-07:00

WORST DRIVERS BY STATE

2010-05-30T22:50:00.000-07:00

Whenever I ride in a taxi in New York City, I marvel at the intestinal fortitude of the drivers who navigate pedestrians, potholes and other drivers who seem to have learned how to drive via a video game. And, according to a recent survey of driver knowledge by GMAC Insurance, it turns out that the awe these drivers inspire is justified.

GMAC's sixth annual survey quizzed more than 5,200 licensed Americans from across the country on their driving knowledge and New York drivers fared the worst for the second year in a row, with an average score of 70 percent. That's more than six percentage points below the national average score of 76.2 percent. New Jersey residents shouldn't laugh too loudly at their neighbor's expense. Garden State drivers finished second to last. Kansas, on the other hand, proved to be the best place to drive with a score of 82.3 percent. Oregon, South Dakota, Minnesota, Iowa and Nebraska drivers were also among the best performers on the survey.
Overall, though, the findings were pretty dismal. The study found that "nearly 1 in 5 licensed drivers -- roughly 38 million Americans -- would not pass a written drivers test exam if taken today." A whopping 85 percent could not identify the correct action to take when approaching a steady yellow traffic light (hint: it involves the brake pedal). Many drivers also remained uncertain about safe following distances.

**** Are You a Smart Driver? -- Take Test and Find Out ****

Nationally, the average score slipped from 76.2 percent from 76.6 percent. "When analyzed regionally, the results reveal that drivers in the Northeast may not be as road-rule savvy as their Midwestern counterparts," according to GMAC's press release. "The Northeast had the lowest average test scores (74.9 percent) and had the highest failure rate (25.1 percent). The Midwest region had the highest average test scores (77.5 percent) and the lowest failure rates (11.9 percent)."

Some other notable trends: Older drivers outperformed younger ones and men did better on the test than women but also flunked it at a higher rate. One-in-four drivers admitted that they did "distracting behaviors" such as selecting music on their iPhones, applying make-up or reading, though only 5 percent admitted to text-ing while driving.

The results are similar to GMAC's finding over the past six years that it has conducted the survey. Wade Bontrager, senior vice president of GMAC Insurance, is not sure why there is such a disparity in results but does have some theories. He believes drivers in large, urban areas fare worse than their counterparts in rural areas because they must contend with more distractions and they don't drive as often because they rely more heavily on public transportation. Nevertheless, he doesn't think these factors should be used as an excuse.

"There is knowing the rules of the road, and there is obeying the rules of the road," he says.

2010 GMAC Insurance Driver's Test Results

(Ranked in order of worst drivers by state to best drivers by state)
Scoring is from 1 to 100 on a 20 question test.

1. (WORST) New York - 70.0
2. New Jersey - 70.5
3. Dist. of Columbia - 71.9
4. California - 73.3
5. Rhode Island - 73.8
6. Louisiana - 74.1
7. West Virginia - 74.8
7. Hawaii - 74.8
9. New Hampshire - 74.9
9. Kentucky - 74.9
11. Florida - 75.2
12. Mississippi - 75.6
13. Pennsylvania - 75.8
13. Massachusetts - 75.8
15. North Carolina - 75.9
15. Arkansas - 75.9
17. Texas - 76.0
18. Connecticut - 76.3
19. Illinois - 76.6
20. Georgia - 76.7
21. Alabama - 77.1
22. South Carolina - 77.2
23. New Mexico - 77.3
24. Virginia - 77.5
24. Ohio - 77.5
26. Maine - 77.6
26. Delaware - 77.6
28. Colorado - 77.8
29. Utah- 77.9
30. Vermont - 78.1
30. Nevada - 78.1
32. Maryland - 78.2
33. Tennessee - 78.3
34. Wyoming - 78.4
35. Arizona - 78.5
36. Missouri - 78.8
37. Michigan - 79.0
38. North Dakota - 79.1
39. Oklahoma - 79.3
40. Wisconsin - 79.4
40. Washington - 79.4
42. Alaska - 79.8
43. Montana - 80.0
44. Idaho - 80.1
45. Indiana - 80.4
46. Nebraska - 80.5
47. Iowa - 80.8
48. Minnesota - 81.1
49. South Dakota - 81.2
50. Oregon - 82.1
51. (BEST) Kansas 82.3

**** Are You a Smart Driver? -- Take Test and Find Out ****

See full article from WalletPop: http://srph.it/ahqOZM

HERBAL TEA PARTY

2010-05-30T22:48:00.000-07:00

2010-05-30T22:46:00.000-07:00

OIL SPILLS

(Automatic License Plate Recognition)

2010-05-30T22:37:00.002-07:00

EARTH MEANDERS

2010-05-30T22:37:00.001-07:00

EARTH MEANDERS 2.0
United States of Ecocide: Spilling and Consuming Way to Oblivion
A great, free nation remains immobilized in the face of ecological collapse

May 29, 2009
By Dr. Glen Barry, Ecological Internet
Earth Meanders come from Earth's Newsdesk, http://www.ecoearth.info/newsdesk/
http://www.ecoearth.info/earthmeanders/

The United States of America is an epic experiment, as despite great accomplishments and numerous imperfections, we share a long history of constantly striving to improve our union. As Americans settle in for Memorial Day to remember veterans of all stripes – from great wars of world defense to more recent military adventurism – it is appropriate to consider what the current Gulf Oil Spill says about the American way of life. Plainly, our addiction to oil and consumption in general threatens to destroy regional and global ecosystems – the water, air, land and oceans –upon which Americans, humanity and all species depend upon for habitat and life.

America is truly exceptional. Yet it is not because of our materially excessive lifestyles, as best demonstrated by our wide girths and ample posteriors. There is more to America than consumption. Our greatness is primarily due to our wavering, imperfect yet unique commitment to freedom and liberty. Over two hundred years ago a just revolution was fought asserting individual liberties from monarchial authoritarianism. The principles of freedom and liberty were a gift to the world. This is what truly has set us apart. And despite two decades of consistent roll-backs in civil and human rights, Americans remain for now free peoples to prosper or expire.

America has and continues to face many challenges – repudiating slavery, enfranchising most, world wars – and most recently the inevitable slowdown of economic growth as speculative, industrial capitalism runs its course. America has enjoyed for awhile super-sized living and grown to be what it is based upon liquidating ecosystems. We have progressed to the point where regional ecosystems are collapsing – most obviously in the Gulf Coast, but throughout the vast country as ecosystems are dying. America now faces our most difficult and profound test ever, coming to terms with our deeply ecologically unsustainable lifestyles, and committing to national and global ecological sustainability.

Clearly the American way of life has been built upon liquidating our own and foreign natural life-giving ecosystems to access resources for consumption. To equate mowing ancient forests, dumping waste into water, over-fishing oceans, polluting the atmosphere, and the pervasive toxic chemical cocktail with progress and development is absurd. It is entirely possible that oil deep undersea and within our shared Earth was not meant to be drilled, much less burnt. America must directly face our profound dependence upon oil and destruction of natural ecosystems as the basis of our economy; or our country will collapse, many if not all will needlessly suffer and prematurely die, and a livable Earth may cease to exist.

The oil spilling endlessly into the Gulf of Mexico – one of America’s most rich ecosystems –shows clearly Americans of all types will commit to ecological sustainability or our free country will cease to exist. Marshes and rivers and forests and fish are far more than resources – they and all natural ecosystems provide for humanity’s habitat and existence upon Earth. The American way of life must be updated by what Ecology – the radical science – teaches us about limits to growth and requirements to sustain the biosphere. And to reflect moral outrage that as we continue to literally stuff ourselves and over-develop to death, two billion people live worldwide on under $2/day, 800 million without access to clean water. Collapsing ecosystems will almost certainly be used as the pretext for some sort of more authoritarian political system.

The American dream and way of life is built upon ecocide – willful murder of the environment. Such ecocidal behavior is problematic not only because we are literally eating Earth to death, but also because Americans use so much more than their fair share of the surplus natural capital, relative to the family of nations, than can be done sustainably. It is deeply troubling – bordering on evil – that 4% of the world’s population consumes 25% of its oil. And now sadly the rest of the world is copying America’s conspicuous over-consumption as a way of life. In an over-populated Earth plagued by inequitable consumption, clearly there has to be more meaning to life than having more stuff, including first meeting all humanity’s basic needs.

The resources necessary for all the gadgets, cars, energy and consumption found in the American dream are largely being taken at the point of gun by the U.S. military, and through neo-colonial dependency arrangements between U.S. business and resource owners. 911 was direct blowback from several decades of such behavior. It is time to stop thinking in terms of tribal nationalism and embrace the human family; as ecological challenges including forest loss, water scarcity, ocean decline, air pollution, soil depletion, nitrogen saturation and biodiversity loss threaten to destroy all nations’ peoples. How many more U.S. soldiers must kill and die needlessly in foreign lands to support these inequities and unsustainability?

Let us buttress America’s commitment to true freedom and liberty with equal devotion to equity, justice and global ecological sustainability. Future American and global ecological sustainability looks less urban, more organic; simple but quality lives; less government, more community, and dedication to protecting and restoring ecosystems. It is possible and crucial for all our shared survival to live simply, laugh often, and love deeply as we lead deeply fulfilling lives within the context of a healthy and vibrant environment, and a steady state economy which can last forever.

It is well past time to show American resolve and commitment and get the damn oil leak capped. This is an unprecedented ecological emergency that portends the future. There should be millions of Americans streaming to partake in skimming oil and cleaning what comes ashore. This is our task, our job, our life, our future, our country, our Earth and our ecology at stake. Further, I would like to take this opportunity to call for criminal investigations of BP and the U.S. government’s oil departments, for the immediate resignation of Ken Salazar as Secretary of Interior, and for a permanent global ban to ecocidal offshore oil drilling.

Ecological Internet recently declared a planetary ecological emergency[1] based upon overwhelming new ecological science indicating Earth is at or near the tipping point, and key global ecosystems and life-support systems are failing. All true Americans and global citizens are urged to dramatically reduce their personal consumption and to commit to massively reducing their personal use of oil. And the U.S. government must cease to be an oil oligarchy, divorce itself from this Earth destroying industry, and stop waging war to feed its oil addiction. Failure on either account may justly lead to the next great American Revolution: a people’s power Earth Revolution on behalf of Earth, all her life, and the human family.

WHY WOMEN SHOULD NOT DRINK

2010-05-30T22:33:00.000-07:00

WARNING

2010-05-30T22:28:00.000-07:00

1. A plastic bottle with a cap.
2. A little Drano.
3. A little water.
4. A small piece of foil.
5. Disturb it by moving it; and BOOM!!
6. No fingers left and other serious effects to your face, eyes, etc..

People are finding these bombs in mailboxes and in their yards, just waiting for you to pick it up intending to put it in the trash. But, you'll never make it!!! It takes about 30 seconds to blow after you move the thing.

See "SNOPES" below.. This happened. April 27, 2010,

http://www.snopes.com/crime/warnings/bottlebomb.asp warnings/bottlebomb.asp>

THE IMPORTANCE OF WALKING

2010-05-30T22:27:00.000-07:00

The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.

TRUCK CRASH COMP

2010-03-21T13:55:00.001-07:00

SNAKE

2010-03-21T13:54:00.002-07:00

THE CAMPER

2010-03-21T13:54:00.001-07:00

THIS IS WHAT JEFF FOXWORTHY HAS TO SAY ABOUT 'LIVING IN OREGON!

2010-03-11T19:26:00.001-08:00

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Oregon .

If you've worn shorts, sandals and a parka at the same time, you live in Oregon .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Oregon .

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Oregon ..

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Oregon .

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' and back again in the same day, you live in Oregon .

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both doors unlocked, you live in Oregon

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Central, Southern or Eastern Oregon .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over 2 layers of clothes or under a raincoat, you live in Oregon .

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow and ice, you live in Oregon .

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Oregon .

If you feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash, you live in Oregon ..

If you know more than 10 ways to order coffee, you live in Oregon .

If you know more people who own boats than air conditioners, you live in Oregon .

If you stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal, you live in Oregon

If you consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain, you live in Oregon .

If you can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle's Best, and Dutch Bros, you live in Oregon.

If you know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon, you live in Oregon .

If you know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup , Abiqua, Issaquah, Oregon , Umpqua, Yakima and Willamette, you live in Oregon .

If you consider swimming an indoor sport, you live in Oregon.

If you know that Boring is a city and not just a feeling, you live in Oregon .

If you can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food, you live in Oregon .

If you never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho, you live in Oregon .

If you have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain, you live in Oregon

If you think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists, you live in Oregon .

If you buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such
a long time, you live in Oregon .

If you actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your OREGON friends, you
live or have lived in Oregon .

FRED REED

2010-03-07T21:06:00.000-08:00

Meddling Where We Oughtn't

Yet Again

March 2, 2010

Mexico, if left alone, would be a reasonably successful and stable country of the upper Third World. It isn’t Haiti, isn’t Bangla Desh, isn’t a dying patient with multiple tubes in every orifice. If not strong-armed into chaos, it would be all right.

But the United States won’t leave it alone. Washington is pushing it to wage Washington’s “war on drugs.” As usual, Washington has no idea what it is doing. Nor does it care. Should untoward consequences follow, it will be surprised, this being the characteristic condition of American foreign policy.

Untoward consequences are quite available. The narcotraficantes that Mexico is supposed to fight for Washington are a formidable armed force. They have unlimited money, which they use to buy heavy weapons. They have unlimited money, which they use to corrupt the government of a comparatively poor country. Mexico does not have the wherewithal to fight them. The army here is small and poorly armed. This is reasonable since Mexico has neither territorial ambitions nor enemies. Except, certainly in effect, the United States.

The government is outgunned by the narcos. Further, the traffickers have the advantage of being dispersed and invisible. The situation is, or quickly could be, exactly that faced by the US in Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan: narcos can appear from nowhere, blow up police stations, assassinate judges, or kill a dozen teenagers at a party. Then they disappear.

Thus they can destabilize the nation and hold the population hostage. This doesn’t bother Americans, who barely know where Mexico is. It bothers Mexicans, who know their people are dying in an exported American war.

Bear in mind that anti-Americanism thrives here and throughout Latin America. Much of it is justified; some of it isn’t. The US population, the most comprehensively ignorant of the advanced world, knows nothing of the reasons or of the countries. But the hostility is real. Shrugging it off could prove a mistake.

If Mexicans had to choose between the drug lords, who are often seen as counter-culture heroes, and the US, seen as an enemy too dangerous to be openly called an enemy, many would go with their compatriots in the drug trade. A repertoire of narco-corridos, songs glorifying the narcos, exists. Los Tigres del Norte in Sinaloa have specialized in these.

Although Mexico doesn’t have America’s festering antagonisms--blacks hate whites hate browns hate men hate women hate Jews— there are groups, particularly in Chiapas, who are potential insurgents. If they should ally themselves with the narcos and go to the mountains, or set up cells in the cities, the result would be a long, bloody civil war: Afghanistan on the US border. This is not Freddian fantasy. Thoughtful Mexicans worry about it.

The Mexican army cannot handle an uprising of any magnitude. The Pentagon would then intervene to “help” Mexico. Que dios nos ayude.

he Pentagon is working toward toward intervention, whether it know that it is or not. There is something called the Merida Initiative, in which the US supplies money and advice to transform Mexican society to combat the narcos. The colonels in the Five-Sided Squirrel Cage really believe they can reform the Mexican judiciary and infuse the police with virtuous fervor for American ideals. I spoke to a field-grade American officer about this. He had taken a six-month intensive course in Spanish at the Defense Language Institute and spoke less Spanish than my daughter did after two weeks here. The money would be used to reform the Mexican government, he said, which would then make short work of the narcos. He explained this with the earnest mission-orientedness that officers display when they are about to do something senseless.

I didn’t say, “Give me a freaking break,” because I knew it would accomplish nothing. You don’t “reform” countries you don’t understand by solemn brainless enthusiasm. The money would vanish like water in dry sand. Mexico does not want to be remade in the image of the United States, for remarkably good reasons. The more the US meddles, the less legitimate the government that permits it will be. Not a good idea.

Why does the military regularly misestimate the nature of the Third World? Because soldiers live, and think, in a rigid, conformist, orderly world in which good (us) and evil (them) are starkly distinct, in which one gives orders and things happen, in which all are on the team and working toward a common goal. Officers are insular, self-righteous, ruthless (after all, they are fighting Evil) and clueless. The workings of the Third World are the polar opposite of orderliness of the military. The colonels are instantly lost in the complex relationships, informal arrangements, family loyalties and invisible politics of Latin America. And they do not understand that when they intervene, they are not the good guys.

This is why we hear again and again from some buzz-cut horse’s ass with stars on his shoulders about how we are trying so hard to “help the Afghan people.”

One might ask: Why are drugs Mexico’s problem? Americans, huge numbers of them, want drugs. If they didn’t want drugs, the narcos couldn’t sell the stuff. But the American government doesn’t want its citizens to have drugs. Fine. Let the government attack its own citizens. Leave others out of it.

Washington isn’t going to rid the US of drugs any more than it rid the country of alcohol. Popular demand is far too great. The US crawls with crank labs, open-air crack markets, meth cookers, fields of marijuhweenie too large not to have been noticed by state authorities. California talks of legalizing grass in defiance of the Feds. All God’s chillun loves drugs—good ol’ boys, Ivy League students, their professors, high-school kids, middle-class suburbanies, congressman, musicians, and several Republicans. Mexico is going to change this? They must be smoking something good in DC.

A friend recently told me of being in a boat off Florida with several honeys in bikinis aboard. A Coast Guard cutter pulled alongside because the guys wanted to look at the babes. My buddy, being sociable, hollered, “What are you guys doing?”

“We’re looking for drugs.”

“Oh. We’ll follow you.”

Whereupon the Coast Guardies broke out laughing. Even the cops don’t really care.

Mexico can’t fix things, if indeed they are broken. Leave the place alone.

MICHAEL MOORE WRITES OBAMA

2010-03-07T21:04:00.001-08:00

President Obama: Replace Rahm with Me ...an open letter from Michael Moore

Friday, March 5th, 2010

Dear President Obama,

I understand you may be looking to replace Rahm Emanuel as your chief of staff.

I would like to humbly offer myself, yours truly, as his replacement.

I will come to D.C. and clean up the mess that's been created around you. I will work for $1 a year. I will help the Dems on Capitol Hill find their spines and I will teach them how to nonviolently beat the Republicans to a pulp.

And I will help you get done what the American people sent you there to do. I don't need much, just a cot in the White House basement will do.

Now, don't get too giddy with excitement over my offer, because you and I are going to be up at 5 in the morning, 7 days a week and I am going to get you pumped up for battle every single day (see photo). Each morning you and I will do 100 jumping jacks and you will repeat after me:

"THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ELECTED ME, NOT THE REPUBLICANS, TO RUN THE COUNTRY! I AM IN CHARGE! I WILL ORDER ALL OBSTRUCTIONISTS OUTTA MY WAY! IF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DON'T LIKE WHAT I'M DOING THEY CAN THROW MY ASS OUT IN 2012. IN THE MEANTIME, I CALL THE SHOTS ON THEIR BEHALF! NOW, CONGRESS, DROP AND GIVE ME 50!!"

Then we will put on our jogging sweats and run up to Capitol Hill. We will take names, kick butts, and then take some more names. If we have to give a few noogies or half-nelson's, then so be it. In our pockets we will have a piece of paper to show the pansy Dems just how much they won by in 2008 -- and the poll results that show the majority of Americans oppose the Afghanistan and Iraq wars and want the bankers punished. Like drill sergeants, we will get right up in their faces and ask them, "WHAT PART OF THE PUBLIC MANDATE DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, SOLDIER?!! DROP AND GIVE ME 50!"

I know this is the job Rahm Emanuel was supposed to be doing.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have always admired Rahm Emanuel (if you don't count his getting NAFTA pushed through Congress in the '90s which destroyed towns like Flint, Michigan. I know, picky-picky.). He is what we needed for a long time -- a no-apologies, take-no-prisoners fighting machine. Someone who is not afraid to get his hands dirty and pound the right wing into submission. Far from being the foul-mouthed bully he has been portrayed as, Rahm is the one who BEAT UP the bullies to protect us from them.

That's certainly what he did in 2006. After six long, miserable years of the middle-class getting slaughtered and the poor being flushed down the toilet, Rahm Emanuel took on the job of returning Congress to the Democrats. No one believed it could be done.

But he did it. Big time. He put the fear of God into the party of Rush and Newt. They had never been so scared. More importantly, though, he instilled a sense of hope in the Democrats that they could actually score the mother of all hat tricks in 2008 -- and with you, an African American no less, in the pole position!

It worked. The Darkness ended. The vast majority of nation wept with joy on the night of the election (those who weren't weeping went out and bought a record number of guns and ammo). Unlike the last president, you didn't "win" by 537 votes in Florida (although Gore won the popular vote by a half-million), you beat McCain nationally by 9,522,083 votes! The House Democrats got a walloping 79-vote margin. The Senate Dems would caucus with a supermajority of 60 votes unheard of in over 30 years. The wars would now end. America would have universal health care. Wall Street and the banks would, at the very least, be reined in. Hardworking citizens would not be thrown out of their homes. It was supposed to be the dawning of a new age.

But the Republicans were not going to go quietly into the night. You see, instead of having just one Rahm Emanuel, they are ALL Rahm Emanuels. That's why they usually win. Unlike most Democrats, they are relentless and unstoppable. When they believe in something (which is usually themselves and the K Street job they hope to be rewarded with someday), they'll fight for it till the death. They are loyal to a fault to each other (they were never able to denounce Bush, even though they knew he was destroying the party). They dig their heels in deep no matter what. If you exiled them to a lone chunk of melting polar ice cap, they would keep insisting that it was just a normal "January thaw," even as the frigid Arctic waters rose above their God-fearing necks ("See what I mean -- this water is COLD! What 'global *warming*'?! Adam and Eve rode dinos...aagghh!!... gulp gulp gulp").

We thought we were all done with this craziness, but we were mistaken. Like a beast that you just can't cage, the Republicans convinced not only the media, but YOU and your fellow Dems, that 59 votes was a *minority*! Precious time was lost trying to reach a "consensus" and trying to be "bipartisan."

Well, you and the Democrats have been in charge now for over a year and not one banking regulation has been reinstated. We don't have universal health care. The war in Afghanistan has escalated. And tens of thousands of Americans continue to lose their jobs and be thrown out of their homes. For most of us, it's just simply no longer good enough that Bush is gone. Woo hoo. Bush is gone. Yippee. That hasn't created one new friggin' job.

You're such a good guy, Mr. President. You came to Washington with your hand extended to the Republicans and they just chopped it off. You wanted to be respectful and they decided that they were going to say "no" to everything you suggested. Yet, you kept on saying you still believed in bipartisanship.

Well, if you really want bipartisanship, just go ahead and let the Republicans win in November. Then you'll get all the bipartisanship you want.

Let me be clear about one thing: The Democrats on Election Day 2010 are going to get an ass-whoopin' of biblical proportions if things don't change right now. And after the new Republican majority takes over, they, along with a few conservative Democrats in Congress, will get to bipartisanly impeach you for being a socialist and a citizen of Kenya. How nice to see both sides of the aisle working together again!

And the brief window we had to fix this country will be gone.

Gone.

Gone, baby, gone.

I don't know what your team has been up to, but they haven't served you well. And Rahm, poor Rahm, has turned into a fighter -- not of Republicans, but of the left. He called those of us who want universal health care "f***ing retarded." Look, I don't know if Rahm is the problem or if it's Gibbs or Axelrod or any of the other great people we owe a debt of thanks to for getting you elected. All I know is that whatever is fueling your White House it's now running on fumes. Time to shake things up! Time to bring me in to get you pumped up every morning! Go Barack! Yay Obama! Fight, Team, Fight!

I'm packed and ready to come to D.C. tomorrow. If it helps, you won't really be losing Rahm entirely because I'll be bringing his brother with me -- my agent, Ari Emanuel. Man, you should see HIM negotiate a deal! Have you ever wanted to see Mitch McConnell walking around Capitol Hill carrying his own head in his hands after it's just been handed to him by the infamous Ari? Oh, baby, it won't be pretty -- but boy will it be sweet!

What say you, Barack? Me and you against the world! Yes we can! It'll be fun -- and we may just get something done. Whaddaya got to lose? Hope?

Retardedly yours,
Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
MichaelMoore.com

P.S. Just to give you an idea of the new style I'll be bringing with me, when a cornhole like Sen. Ben Nelson tries to hold you up next time, this is what I will tell him in order to get his vote: "You've got exactly 30 seconds to rescind your demand or I will personally make sure that Nebraska doesn't get one more federal dollar for the rest of Obama's term. And then I will let everyone in your state know that you wear Sooner panties, backwards. NOW DROP AND GIVE ME 50!"

2010-02-27T17:45:00.000-08:00

GET OUT OF MY CAR

2010-02-27T17:41:00.000-08:00

SOME FACTS ABOUT SOCIAL SECURITY

2010-02-26T16:23:00.001-08:00

Your Social Security

Just in case some of you young whippersnappers (& some older ones)
didn't know this. It's easy to check out, if you don't believe it.

Be sure and show it to your kids. They need a little history lesson on
what's what and it doesn't matter whether you are Democrat or
Republican. Facts are Facts!!!

Our Social Security

Franklin Roosevelt, a Democrat, introduced the Social Security (FICA)
Program. He promised:

1.) That participation in the Program would be Completely voluntary,

No longer Voluntary

2.) That the participants would only have to pay 1% of the first $1,400
of their annual Incomes into the Program,

Now 7.65%

3.) That the money the participants elected to put into the Program
would be deductible from their income for tax purposes each year,

No longer tax deductible

4.) That the money the participants put into the independent 'Trust
Fund' rather than into the general operating fund, and therefore, would
only be used to fund the Social Security Retirement Program, and no
other Government program, and,

Under Johnson the money was moved to

The General Fund and Spent

5.) That the annuity payments to the retirees would never be taxed as
income.

Under Clinton & Gore

Up to 85% of your Social Security can be Taxed

Since many of us have paid into FICA for years and are now receiving a
Social Security check every month -- and then finding that we are
getting taxed on 85% of the money we paid to the Federal government to
'put away' -- you may be interested in the following:

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ----

Q: Which Political Party took Social Security from the independent
'Trust Fund' and put it into the general fund so that Congress could
spend it?

A: It was Lyndon Johnson and the democratically controlled House and
Senate.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--

Q: Which Political Party eliminated the income tax deduction for Social
Security (FICA) withholding?

A: The Democratic Party.

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
-----

Q: Which Political Party started taxing Social Security annuities?

A: The Democratic Party, wit h Al Gore casting the 'tie-breaking'
deciding vote as President of the Senate, while he was Vice President of
the US

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
-

Q: Which Political Party decided to start giving annuity payments to
immigrants?

AND MY FAVORITE:

A: That's right!

Jimmy Carter and the Democratic Party.
immigrants moved into this country, and at age 65, began to receive
Social Security payments! The Democratic Party gave these payments to
them, even though they never paid a dime into it!

------------ -- ------------ --------- ----- ------------ ---------
---------

Then, after violating the original contract (FICA), the Democrats turn
around and tell you that the Republicans want to take your Social
Security away!

And the worst part about it is uninformed citizens believe it!

If enough people receive this, maybe a seed of awareness will be planted
and maybe changes will evolve. Maybe not, some Democrats are awfully
sure of what isn't so.

But it's worth a try. How many people can YOU send this to?

Actions speak louder than bumper stickers.

AND CONGRESS GIVES THEMSELVES 100% RETIREMENT FOR ONLY SERVING ONE
TERM!!!

STOP THIS NOW!

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong
enough to take everything you have.
-Thomas Jefferson

ON SAFARI INSIDE A ZEBRA

2010-02-26T15:53:00.001-08:00

GETTING OFF THE ELEVATOR

2010-02-26T15:50:00.000-08:00

TOYOTA LAWNMOWERS RECALLED

2010-02-18T17:06:00.000-08:00

2010-01-25T21:15:00.001-08:00

AIRPORT SCREENING

2010-01-15T12:50:00.001-08:00

GOOD DRUNKEN DRIVING MOVIE

CATERPILLAR SKIING

2010-01-15T12:43:00.000-08:00

IDEAS

2010-01-15T12:35:00.000-08:00

CLEVER IDEAS WORTH KNOWING
Take your bananas apart when you get home from the store.
If you leave them connected at the stem, they ripen faster.

Store your opened chunks of cheese in aluminum foil.
It will stay fresh much longer and not mold!

Peppers with 3 bumps on the bottom are sweeter and better for eating.
Peppers with 4 bumps on the bottom are firmer and better for cooking.

Add a teaspoon of water when frying ground beef.
It will help pull the grease away from the meat while cooking.
To really make scrambled eggs or omelets rich add a couple of
spoonfuls of sour cream, cream cheese, or heavy cream in and then beat them up.
For a cool brownie treat, make brownies as directed. Melt Andes mints in double broiler and pour over warm brownies. Let set for a wonderful minty frosting.
Add garlic immediately to a recipe if you want a light taste
of garlic and at the end of the recipe if your want a stronger taste of garlic.
Leftover snickers bars from Halloween make a delicious dessert Simply chop them up with the food chopper. Peel, core and slice a few apples. Place them in a baking dish and sprinkle the chopped candy bars over the apples. Bake at 350 for 15 minutes!!! Serve alone or with vanilla ice cream. Yummm!
Reheat Pizza
Heat up leftover pizza in a nonstick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm.
This keeps the crust crispy. No soggy micro pizza. I saw this on the cooking channel and it really works.

Easy Deviled Eggs
Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag. Seal, mash till they are all broken up.
Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up mixing thoroughly, cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg.
Just throw bag away when done easy clean up.

Expanding Frosting
When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes. You can double it in size.
You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount. You also eat less sugar and calories per serving.
Reheating refrigerated bread
To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in
a microwave with a cup of water. The increased moisture will keep the food
moist and help it reheat faster.

Newspaper weeds away
Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil. Wet newspapers,
put layers around the plants overlapping as you go cover with mulch and for-
get about weeds. Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not
get through wet newspapers.

Broken Glass
Use a wet cotton ball or Q-tip to pick up the small shards of glass you can't see easily.
No More Mosquitoes

Place a dryer sheet in your pocket. It will keep the mosquitoes away.

Squirrel Away! To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper. The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.

Flexible vacuum

To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge add an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum. It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.

Reducing Static Cling
Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress. Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose. Place pin in seam of slacks and ... ta da! ... static is gone.

Measuring Cups
Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill with hot water.
Dump out the hot water, but don't dry cup. Next, add your ingredient, such
as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

Foggy Windshield?
Hate foggy windshields? Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car When the windows fog, rub with the eraser! Works better than a cloth!
Re opening envelopes
If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two. Viola! It unseals easily.

Conditioner
Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs. It's cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth. It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair.

Goodbye Fruit Flies
To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass, fill it 1/2' with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dish washing liquid; mix well. You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever!

Get Rid of Ants

Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants. They eat it, take it 'home,' can't digest it so it kills them. It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works and you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

INFO ABOUT CLOTHES DRYERS
The heating unit went out on my dryer! The gentleman that fixes things around the house for us told us that he wanted to show us something and he went over to the dryer and pulled out the lint filter. It was clean. (I always clean the lint from the filter after every load clothes.) He told us that he wanted to show us something; he took the filter over to the sink and ran hot water over it. The lint filter is made of a mesh material ... I'm sure you know what your dryer's lint filter looks like. Well ... the hot water just sat on top of the mesh! It didn't go through it at all! He told us that dryer sheets cause a film over that mesh that's what burns out the heating unit. You can't SEE the film, but it's there. It's what is in the drye r sheets to make your clothes soft and static free ... that nice fragrance too. You know how they can feel waxy when you take them out of the box ... well this stuff builds up on your clothes and on your lint screen. This is also what causes dryer units to potentially burn your house down with it! He said the best way to keep your dryer working for a very longtime (and to keep your electric bill lower) is to take that filter out and wash it with hot soapy water and an old toothbrush (or other brush) at least every six months. He said that makes the life of the dryer at least twice as long! How about that!?! Learn something new everyday! I certainly didn't know dryer sheets would do that. So, I thought I'd share!

Note: I went to my dryer and tested my screen by running water on it. The water ran through a little bit but mostly collected all the water in the mesh screen. I washed it with warm soapy water and a nylon brush and I had it done in 30 seconds. Then when I rinsed it .. the water ran right thru the screen! There wasn't any puddling at all! That repairman knew what he was talking about!

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO OTHER PEOPLE IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK.

CAROL

2010-01-06T21:35:00.000-08:00